I survived

It's time to celebrate because I just survived week 1 of grad school. Saturday (class/day 1) was the worst. It was from 9am-5pm with an hour for lunch. There were both 3rd years (part time) and 1st years (full time) in the class. It felt like a lot of information thrown at me and I was a bit intimidated. Of course the 3rd years talked the most because they knew what they were talking about. They had already had theory courses and experience to base their observations off of. The poor 1st years were sitting in their seats with their jaws wide open because we felt so lost. I admit, I was scared that I wasn't prepared for this.

Monday (class/day 2) was methods class. I walked in with an uncomfortable stride and sat in the front row in the center of the row. I was NOT ashamed of being the nerd because I knew that I was scared of failing. Half an hour into class we go over the syllabus. A two page research proposal and a final exam is all that I see under assignments. WHAT?! Then we got into lecture. We went over a few things in summary (all of which I have learned in detail at Skidmore) as well as the purpose of a theoretical framework and literature review. Then our instructor asked the question, "Is there such a thing as too big a sample?" My head nods yes while others say I have no idea. Then she asks for those of us saying yes, why? My hand goes up and she calls on people from the back to the front so I'm the last to answer. Now I swear, Professor Fox must have said, "If you learn anything from me, let it be this..." at least a half dozen times. This is one of those things that he's told us to remember!! And this is what I said, "Law of probability. The bigger your sample is, the more likely you are to find what you are testing for, even if there isn't a correlation there." Apparently that's what the instructor was looking for because she stopped calling on people to give their answers. THANK YOU FOXY!!!!!!! After this class I was feeling much better about my standing in grad school.

Tuesday (class/day 3) was Pre-Practicum. This was the day that we got into our cohort of 38 people and then split up into our tracks of mental health, community counseling, and school counseling. There are nine people in the school counseling track and only seven who are full time. This class was fun because we really got to see how different we were from the other counselors. After class I was supposed to drive down to Ashland. I got into a car wreck because a deer jumped out in front of me. I ended up rolling my car off the side of the hwy and totaling it. I'm fine, physically. I don't think I'll be driving long distances for a while. It's hard to live in a place all alone and deal with something like that. Jeremy was nice enough to drive up and be with me to make sure I was alright, both physically and mentally/emotionally. Today I'm still a little sore but nothing too serious.

Thursday (class/day 4) was theories class. This is probably going to be my hardest class by far. There are a lot of theorists that overlap in their teachings so separating them out and learning about them will be a task. Luckily our biggest paper is only 5 pages and it asks, "What theorist do you most identify with and why?" The final is open book open notes. I'm glad they're starting us off with easy courses. It's a nice way to ease in to the grad school life.

I'm not really sure what I have planned for the weekend but with no friends my age, I can't imagine I'd be doing much. I'll be sure to keep you updated.Until then... Laters

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes...

Except in this case. I just woke up from a terrible dream that I am interpreting into a lesson I learned from Skidmore. Let's start with the dream (if you don't want to hear about the dream I apologize but it's a bit important to my epiphany tonight):

It all started with me sending out text messages asking if anyone wanted to go out before school started. None of my friends that I usually go out with responded so I asked a couple of "irregulars." These people consisted of Hawaii friends, family, and friends that I met in California last year. I'm not really sure where this part of the dream took place but somehow we were all in the same area. Anyway, no one responded right away except my almost 16-year-old cousin. She gave me a pity text that stated, "Sure you can hang out with me. What kind of hanging out did you want to do?" I'm not really sure what that meant but I knew that if I hung out with her, I would be hanging out with 16-year-olds. I wasn't about to crash her party, plus I don't know her friends. Finally someone responded and I ended up hanging out with my friend Isaac from Hawaii, Jeremy from Oregon, and all of his friends from University of Redlands (which are the California friends I met last year that I mentioned before).
Somehow I'm all of a sudden at Skidmore and we're all in the same classes together. Our first class was in some room that doesn't exist but it had the same feeling as the ICC. This room, however, was underground and REALLY dirty. I can't even describe how disgusting it was. Anyway, we had class and we were supposed to go to the next class together but the group of people I was with ditched me like I was a high school dork trying to fit in with the cool kids. I looked at my schedule and saw that my next class was in the library. I heard someone say that it started in 15 seconds. I ran as fast as I could to the library. Skidmore in my dream was no where near as small as it actually is. So I get to the library, see class already starting, and try to find the room where I'm supposed to "check in" (what ever that means). I trip and fall all over tables, chairs, and people, get in trouble for causing a disturbance, and then get to class late. This is when I woke up in a panic that I missed my first day of class, only to realize I'm still in California.

So where is the lesson you may ask?? I'll tell you: All year I have been a part of FightClub. Multiple conflict coaches and friends have told me to be fearless because I let my fears paralyze me from doing what I want to do. Here's where my epiphany kicks in. As much as I want to be fearless, I don't think that it's right for me.

One of my classmates once said that learning begins where comfort ends. I left my life in comfy little Hawaii to fly 6,000+ miles to a small city in upstate New York. After taking four years to get comfortable in snowy little Skidmore, I'm on the move again to a school in Oregon, which I might add is 3,000+ miles away from any place I've ever called home.

Putting the two previous paragraphs together... If I were fearless, I would never be uncomfortable. If I were never uncomfortable, I would never learn. I put on a brave face and pretend like a big change is the best thing to happen in my life, when in reality, I have no idea what to expect, and that scares me. It scares me enough to wake me from a dream every night for a week around 5am, before I finally realize what I'm fighting and why I'm scared. Truth is, I have no idea what will happen in the next month, let alone the next two years of graduate school. I learned that not facing my fear of being uncomfortable leads to a path of misery for two years, only to be followed by a semester of going abroad, a semester of having no friends because they're all abroad while I've returned, and finally a year of comfort and fun. Well, I don't have four years at this school, so I have to figure out how to get comfortable before I graduate. In order to do that, I have to stop fighting my fear and start learning from my discomfort. I will not gravitate towards the group of Asians quietly sitting in the corner of the classroom. I will not change my moral beliefs to fit in with the loud fun-loving students who never study but still manage to get good grades. I will not hold onto the past because I'm uncomfortable with the present and the uncertainty of the future. I can't wait to see how this works out for me since I start classes on Saturday. I'm really nervous and yes, I'll admit scared. But if I wasn't, I would worry that I wasn't human. Next time I update you I'll probably be talking about school and all my struggles with it. Hopefully the dreams stop soon!! Until then... Laters

SUCCESS!!!!

I found an apartment, I'm semi moved in, I have my books... There's a lot of stuff going on right now. I'm pretty much taking it day by day, hour by hour at this point. I'm pretty overwhelmed by it all. First I wanna make a shout out to the Boston Bruins and Red Sox for winning both their games last night!! I've been really excited with the games this week :D The Bruins are going to win the Stanley Cup!!!! That's my prediction.

Moving on: I have class on June 18th. Yes, June 18th, the Saturday before the quarter officially starts... LAME!! Whatever, it'll get my mind moving. I've been stressing out about not knowing what's really going on so much lately that having a schedule will be nice. I have 8 weeks of summer term and then 6 weeks of break. I have big plans for my new life in Oregon and I can't wait until I have enough time to really implement them. I can't really do anything until I have furniture though :/

Tomorrow I leave for Cali for my cousin's high school graduation. I won't be able to watch game 5 of the Stanley Cup because I'll be at dinner in Cali :'( I'll be watching closely on twitter though. Not to mention I'll be sportin' my Bruins shirt :D I'll be back in Bend Friday night so that I can get to class Saturday morning. I'm so excited to meet new friends. That isn't to say that my college friends will be replaced!! Much like my high school friends weren't replaced by my college friends. I actually have missed my college friends like crazy these last couple of weeks. I can't imagine how much I'll miss them when I'm actually "supposed" to see them... like in September when Skidmore starts. Sigh... This is gonna be a harsh summer break. I probably won't update for a while since I have a lot to do between now and my next breather. Keep checking back because I will eventually get around to updating you. Until then... Laters

Final Destination

OREGON!! I've finally reached Oregon, my final destination. We're staying in Redmond, which is about a half hour away from Bend. It's time for me to start looking for apartments. Tomorrow I will drive around Bend and see what the neighborhoods look like. Then I have until Friday to really find a place to live. There's so much to do and so little time. After this week I will be headed down to California for my cousin's high school graduation. I'm starting to stress out about finding a place to live and getting all my school materials and everything else by the time we leave for California. I was stressing about it as soon as we passed the state line!! But of course, with the help of one very special friend, I was reminded that everything will work out. I obviously don't always believe that, but something tells me that eventually everything will in fact work out.

The first thing we did when we got to Bend was watch the Bruins/Canucks game 2 of the Stanley Cup. The Bruins lost :( I was heartbroken but at least it was an exciting game. You can't really watch a hockey game and not get excited. The next game is Monday and it's a home game so you KNOW that the Bruins will win (the crowd does a lot for the team). And you better believe that I'll be there at the TV cheering them on!! haha

When I figure out where I'm living and get things at least a little settled, I will be sure to update you. So keep checking back!! Until then... Laters

On The Road: Day 9

Hello hello!! I'm currently in Spokane after a very successful day of traveling. We were planning on driving straight to Spokane, WA from Butte, MT. About halfway through our drive we saw a billboard for a city in Idaho called Wallace. It is the silver capitol of the world (or something like that). Basically, when you drive into the city it's like going back in time a little. The city is really small and everyone waves to each other. W took a tour of a silver-iron mine and the town. I even bought a "finger friend." It's a gem glued to a ring with googly eyes. Surprisingly REALLY cute. I named mine Porcus Wally. He's emerald green like my birthstone. Anyway, we spent a couple of hours in Wallace and then we got back on the road for Spokane. We got into the city by 5 and just hung out in the room until now (10:15). The hotel had free cookies in the lobby at 7 and they were DELICIOUS!! We made a pretty good choice hanging out in the hotel all night since we were all pretty exhausted from doing too much all at once.

This was a significantly better traveling day than yesterday. Although we didn't do as much we still had a great time venturing through the west. For the entire ride we listened to country music because that was the only station that we could get. I like country music so I had a great time driving. My sister, on the other hand, looked like she might have jumped out the car going 70mph if she didn't have her ipod on extra loud. It's a good thing she can sleep in cars!!

Tomorrow we head down to Redmond to start our search for apartments. It's sad to think that this is the end of our adventure driving through the U. S. of A. but I'm more than ready to settle down and find a place I can call my own for the next 24 months (hotels make me miss my own bedding). I may not update as frequently once this trip is over because, let's face it, my life isn't this exciting all the time. However, I do have a couple camping trips planned out for the summer with a friend of mine who lives in Oregon, so you'll be able to read all about it. Thanks for following me from east to west and taking this great journey with me. Be sure to keep checking back for more updates!! Until then... Laters

On The Road: Day 8

Good morning all. Let me tell you about our adventure last night, and why I am updating you this morning instead of last night. We were planning on leaving the hotel in Custer around 6 like we did the day before because we had what we thought would be an 8 hour drive to Yellowstone. We woke up and the office to check out wasn't open until 7:30. So we had to wait. When the lady finally got there we checked out and she tried to get us to stay for breakfast. She talked to me and asked me all kinds of questions and when I finally said we're running an hour behind schedule, she said, "OK well thanks for stopping in." You think she was lonely?? Anyway, we got on the road and put Old Faithful into my GPS. Apparently Old Faithful is an hour more into the park than just the 8 hours of getting to the gate. So OK, 9 hours from our location and we were leaving an hour later than planned. We still would have gotten to the hotel in Butte by about 10 or 11, if all had gone according to plan. We drive for about 7 and a half hours and get to the East gate, only to find out that it's closed until 8pm. The worker at the gate told us that we had to go back out on the road we came to the city called Cody and then take another highway up to the Northeast entrance. Now if you've ever gone to Yellowstone, you know that there's only one road for about an hour past the closest city to the entrance you want to go through. So we U-turned and drove for an hour back the way we came on the same road, just to find out that the Northeast entrance is another 3 and a half hours away from Cody. So now we've tagged on 3 and a half hours to our trip. Then we FINALLY get to the Northeast entrance and look at the map to see where we needed to go to get to Old Faithful. Just our luck, of course, Old Faithful is down at the Southwest section of the park. So not only do we tag on another hour and half of driving down to the geyser, but we also have to to back track in order to get to the road we want to take to get to Butte.

Let me try to draw this image for you for those who have not been to Yellowstone. There Are four entrances, the Northeast, East, South, and West. The map looks like a wheel with spokes coming out from it and one road that goes through the middle of the park. Old Faithful is down between the West and South entrances and past the road in the road in the middle of the park. We entered in the NE gate which is the furthest point from Old Faithful. We took a left after getting into the park thinking that we could drive to the road that cuts across the circle and then down to the SW part of the park. About 3 miles into the park, we come across a sign that said the road is closed. So we turn back around, go all the way around the north end of the park and then south. Look at a map sometime and see how many times we drove on the same road to back track.

Moving on: We FINALLY get to Old Faithful. It's about 9pm and (LUCKILY) the gift shop closes at 9:30. So we run in and see if we can buy our souvenirs before they close. Oh did I mention that it's snowing?? Well, that's a lie. Snow implies fluffy, pretty snow. This was wind with dry snow so it hurt when, what looked like little Styrofoam balls, pelted you. AND all three of us are dressed for summer whether. Yes, we had long jeans and long sleeve shirts on, but we had as our thickest piece of clothing, a hoodie. We basically froze waiting for the geyser to erupt. By the time it did erupt it was almost dark, about 9:45. Once that was done we ran to the car, frozen to the bone, and thawed out before heading out to Butte, which is where I am right now.

We drove all the way to Butte (about 3 and half hours) and managed to get a little lost (tagging on another half hour). Finally at about 2 in the morning we get to the hotel. We check in and get our key, which of course doesn't work. So we had to go back to the front desk and the guy had to use his master key to get us into the hotel. I crashed as soon as I could and just woke up now.

So that's our adventure from yesterday. Today we drive to Sokane, WA. It's only a 5 hour drive so we'll be exploring a little along the way. I think this is where my first lesson from Skidmore comes into play: Learn to go with the flow. I'm one who likes to plan. This trip has definitely taught me to be prepared for what ever may go wrong, much like in class when I show up unprepared for class. I bet not many of you knew that I came to class unprepared huh?? haha well, that's life!! Be sure to check back and I'll let you know when I get to Spokane. Until then... Laters

On The Road: Day 7

Here I am in Custer, South Dakota. Yes, yes. You're all asking, "Why Custer?" Mount Rushmore is in Keystone. Well, the answer: just 4 miles away from Custer is Crazy Horse Monument. We thought that Mt. Rushmore and Crazy Horse were a lot farther apart than they really were. We booked out hotel as far west as we could because we do have a lot of driving to do tomorrow. So today we stopped at Mt. Rushmore, walked the presidential trail, and even saw someone up on top of the mountain. That person was walking around between Washington's head and Jefferson's head. That area is restricted so the worker that we pointed him/her out to had to call security to notify the proper authorities. We listened to a couple of talks about the mountain and why those four presidents were chosen. I think I've learned more about our nation's history in the last two weeks than I did when I was taking American History during my sophomore year of high school.

After exhausting all of our activities at Mt. Rushmore, we drove over to Crazy Horse. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about (and I don't blame you, I had no idea who he was before this): Crazy Horse was the name of a Native American chief who fought for his people's freedom He refused to live on a reserve and led the battle of Little Big Horn. He was stabbed in the back, which is how his life ended prematurely. There is some discrepancy as to whether he was stabbed by one of his own or an opposing soldier. This project is currently being built and only the face of Crazy Horse is complete. If you want to learn a little more, here's the link: http://www.crazyhorsememorial.org/

It's pretty cool to check out and see the progress from one man to a whole production helping to build it. At night they have a laser show projected on the side of the mountain. It's called Legends in Lights. We saw it and I have to say, it's no Disney park show but it was still pretty neat. Some of the images were a little hard to identify, but that could very well come from my limited knowledge of Native American artifacts. As I walked around I noticed that nothing was documented very well (this coming from my Anthropology/Archaeology minor background). Most of the artifacts they had on display, I am pleased to announce, were donated from families and direct lines to the tribes they belonged to, meaning they weren't discovered underground and therefore aren't really missing their documentations of where they are from. However, I did see some flakes and projectile points unlabeled :(

Tomorrow we head out to Yellowstone National Park, which is an 8 hour drive. We're going to stay there for a few hours and then head out to Butte, Montana. We will spend the night in Butte (no I have no idea what there is to do in Butte, it's just a random place I decided to see) and then head to our second to last stop after that. I am almost done with my road trip and I am EXHAUSTED!! I can't believe that people did this trek with horses and buggies. Keep checking back for my last few posts about my road trip and the future adventures I will experience. Until then... Laters