Another Successful Christmas

So I finally found time to just sit alone in my room and blog. This weekend has been crazy! Christmas eve started it off. My family traditionally opens presents on Christmas eve. We get together at one house, eat dinner, and then wait open all the presents that are from friends and family. Opening presents usually carries us well into 11pm because we have so many to open and there are ALWAY heaps of laughs. Meelo and Mya (my cousin's two dogs) run around from person to person because of all the chaos from wrappings and bows flying around. This year I got clothes, jewelry, games, money, nail reinstones, and a laptop. That's pretty typical since I basically ask for clothes every year, and jewelry is a safe bet with me since I love it and will wear almost anything. Everyone knows about my obsession with butterflies so if it's got a butterfly on it, I love it. I got a necklace with diamonds on the middle of the butterfly, and a bracelet with a strand of butterflies. I got more but that's enough description for now. All I have to say is that all of it is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!! Then my parents and sister and I went home around 12 ish to get to bed. Then in the morning we opened our Santa presents. This part of our tradition is what makes Christmas so awesome. We get to open presents two days in a row. It's like having two Christmases! I got random things like a luggage lock, a plain black T-shirt that I can reinstone, and simple stuff like that. Then I went back to my cousin's house and we had lunch. We played BINGO like we always do and I won sooo many prizes! We always play so that everyone wins per round. But we get so many prizes that we eventually start to make up our own games. Like instead of playing regular bingo we play X (so that you have make an X before you can shout BINGO!) or we play four corners (where all four corners have to be called before you can shout BINGO!). We even started to get desperate and made up our own games, such as.... any three touching (self explanatory). I got a lot of prizes that I really liked and some that I didn't like quite so much. That's just part of playing the game though. If I wasn't able to play Bingo for Christmas I don't think I would have quite a Merry Christmas. It's a tradition. I absolutely love my family and friends. Thanks to everyone who gave me a present!! I can't wait to use/wear them. They're all so great and so are you :D

Sooooooo... after Christmas I went to the beach with Mandi and Leanna and Colin and we all had so many stories to update each other on. We stayed out on the beach for a couple hours but then went to see Avatar at Ward. AVATAR WAS THE MOST AWESOMEST MOVIE!!!!! I really want one of those flying dinosaur looking things. They were sooooo cool. That movie really makes you want to believe in a higher diety. They have so much faith in the world around them and they truely love nature. I wish I could be like that but being from the city, it's a bit harder to believe that buildings and concrete aren't the greatest inventions in the world. I need to go live out in the country for a little while :P Anyway, after the movie we wanted to go to dinner so we did. Then we drove around for like a half hour and ended up in Hawaii Kai. At this point in the night we had absolutely nothing to do because nothing was open. Then we saw that yogurt land was open and decided to have dessert. It was pretty good. We hung out in the shopping center for a little while. Then at around midnight we decided it was time to turn in for the night and we all went home. Colin drove us of course :)

I hope everyone had a successful Christmas and got everything they wanted. I'm already back to my hectic schedule and just waiting for the new year to come around so that I can work on my resolutions and what not. I'm working on my image/reputation. I'm going to stay single until August (well I'm gonna try) and not date or hook up with ANYONE. I also have to work on my body.... I'm gaining weight like crazy and have to start eating better and exercising more. When I go back to school I will definitely be watching my weight. I'm gonna work hard and get my grades up since at the moment they're a bit low. I have a lot to work on and I guess it's a good thing that I don't have very many friends at Skidmore this semester since they're all going abroad while I'm there. It's good because they won't be there to distract me. I'll be able to keep my focus and come up with a whole new image for myself to prove that I'm not entirely ridiculous. I'm ready to be taken seriously in more than one sense. This next semester is all about me... to figure out what I really want. I'll be free from "bad influences" for 6 months so I should be able to break bad habits. Hopefully this all works out and you'll be the first to know how my new self is going. Enjoy my updates!! Laters :)

the struggle is over

Well for now anyway. Tonight was the last of 5 performances from Saturday morning to Monday night. First was the Christmas show at 10am and 2pm on Saturday day. It started out incredibly hormonal. I had a great break down and cried and it was epic. After that was the Tabernacle performance. I wasn't in much of a better mood there but I managed to get through it. Plus I saw Crichton and he always tries to be there for me and make me smile. At the end of the night I went home and slept and had some intense dreams. On Sunday night I had another Tabernacle performance. Tonight I performed at Ala Moana Center Stage. On Sunday, after the opening number, I was introduced to the CUTEST Mormon guy. He's around my age and seems really nice. I really wanna get to know him better but I'm leaving in a month to go back to New York so maybe it's not worth it? Everyone keeps telling me that I shouldn't have a boyfriend because I wanna be free of attachments to do what ever I want to do. But I'm not always happy without a boyfriend. I'm never in one place too long which is why I tend to be single most of the time but I can't honestly say that I enjoy being like that. I know I'm still young and I keep being reminded of that. But seriously I'm tired of jumping from state to state, country to country, and relationship to relationship. I don't want to be single forever but I'd rather be single than be part of the hook up culture at school. I'd also rather have a long distance relationship than be single. I think the introduction of me to this guy is a tactic to get me to stay home forever. I know I'm not meant to be in a relationship right now because if I was, I would have met a Mormon in Saratoga Springs, which is where I'll be for the next 10/11 months. I also still really miss Adam and can't stop missing him. I dream about him all the time. Sometimes I wish I weren't so boy crazy. I'd appreciate having lack of emotions for all boys until I was REALLY ready to be in a long-term relationship. I haven't had a relationship longer than a few months. I don't know if I'm capable of having one. All I do know is that if I don't stay put soon, I won't ever have a long-term relationship. Everyone keeps saying that any guy would be lucky to have me... well where the heck is this lucky guy?! I'm not a very patient person and this waiting for time to tell me what I need to know is testing me. I think I'm failing miserably. I just want to fast forward through the next few months to see how I end up. There are so many things for me to look forward to that I can't wait until they all become reality. This is just like when I was waiting for my summer to start. I waited anxiously for a month so that I could finally leave for Greece. Then once that was over I went off to Colorado to go on my Archaeology field experience. That went by quickly as well and I couldn't wait to leave for Australia. But once that came and went I didn't really have anything to look forward to. I mean I have my post graduate plans to look forward to but that is something I have to once again wait for. Once it actually comes I have to find out what I want to do for the rest of my life. Whether I want to come back to Hawaii or if I want to live somewhere else. People may be saying that I'm still young and I have time to figure it out but I don't think that they realize that time goes by a lot quicker than you think. The next time I blink I'll probably be 23 and done with grad school!! I won't be stable, or settled, and I might not even have a job to support myself! What do I do if I have to rely on my parents until I'm 30?! That's NOT ok! Alright that's the end of my freak out for tonight but you know me..... I'm not gonna be able to let this go. I'll let you know what's going on in my life when I know. Until then, Laters!

stress stress stress

I've been home for 21 days. I have danced almost every day, worked out 4 days, and ridden 4 days. I can honestly say that I'm nowhere NEAR in shape enough for the four dance performances I have coming up next week Saturday and Sunday. On the 19th I have the Christmas showcase at Pearl City at 10am and 2pm. Then at like 5 or 6 pm I have the Tabernacle performance. On Sunday I have just the Tab performance but I'm not sure what time that one is. Tomorrow I have to work at some hula Christmas concert for the first half. I'm not sure what I will be doing but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with making sure everyone is in the wings when they're supposed to be. I also don't know what I'm going to do during the second half because my mom is going to watch the show and I have NO interest in watching any part of the show what so ever. I think I'll just sit outside and read or something. I'm at the best part of my book so hopefully I'll be able to finish it before the end of the show. My parents are running the Honolulu Marathon tomorrow and I have to pick them up when they're done. I have to be on my BEST behavior from tomorrow until probably around Wednesday because they'll be sore and tired and will definitely snap VERY easily. So if I don't do EVERYTHING they say then they'll probably disown me until I go back to NY. I still haven't gotten any calls from any of the places I want to work so I haven't been working. I may give in and go back to working as a dance teacher or something. Not really sure. I just can't wait to get off this rock and start school again. My sister comes home tomorrow and I have to share my room with her. She's only home for two weeks so hopefully I won't have to stay off the computer too much. Although lately I've been sleeping earlier and earlier. I keep having these weird/scary dreams which keep me up in the middle of the night and then I stay up during the day. I'm so exhausted by the end of the day that I just want to pass out but I force myself to stay up so that I can sleep all the way through the night. Haven't yet. Not since Tuesday or Wednesday. The first dream I had was about the Christmas showcase. I dreamed that I didn't have ANY of my outfits, make up, or hair products. I looked like a mess and I couldn't dance because no one had extras. Then the another dream I had dealt with the fear of geckos that I have. Geckos were dropping onto my skin from ceilings and when I freaked out enough I woke up and thought there were geckos on my actual ceiling so I couldn't sleep the rest of the night :( I had one about Adam not knowing who I was and walking away from me when I tried to talk to him. There was one where this little girl was scared of me and held a knife pointed at my stomach saying she was going to kill my baby if I didn't stop telling her what to do. I think in my dream she was my daughter though. She mentioned something about not wanting a sister. I'm not really sure what it all means but oh well. There's so little time to do anything I want while I'm here that it's almost not even worth trying. My body has never hurt more in my life. My hips hurt and my hamstring is still slightly sore from last November when I pulled it. My back is getting really really tight the more I work at the arena because we stand around all night and don't really do anything. After we work and I sit in the car my back hurts for about three minutes. When it FINALLY stops hurting I sit more comfortably. I don't know why I'm so sore all the time. Lame!!!!!!!! Alright I don't have much else to complain about except that I miss all you Aussies waaaaayyyyy too much and I can't wait to go back. Until then keep looking for updates on my way too hectic life! Xx Laters

UGH!!!

First of all.... I'm SERIOUSLY moody right now. I don't know if I'm PMSing or what. All I do know is that people have been pissing me off left and right and I keep snapping at them. I'm so sorry to those of you I snapped at... Adam, Kent, Nick, Josh. Huh... all guys. Anyway.... moving on. Tuesday I went riding for the first time in 8 months. I am SO out of shape. I rode this cute old mare named Pipi. I cantered quite a bit and had a blast! But then I was really really sore the next day. I couldn't even get out of bed without hurting. I also had dance on Tuesday and Wednesday and it took me like 2 hours of stretching to get my legs to stop hurting momentarily. I'm still a little sore today but it's not THAT bad. I visited Mid-Pac and all my lovely teachers that I miss so dearly. I also went shopping for Christmas presents so that I could mail those out asap. I'm not gonna see Biscuit E until August so I thought it best to get her present to her before she left for London. I was supposed to go riding today but it got rescheduled to tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully I won't be sore then. I got bitten by something yesterday and my wrist swelled up and got kinda itchy and sore. There's two bite marks so it's either a spider or a centipede but I'm not sure where I could have gotten bitten from anything. When I rub itch eze cream from Australia on it, it burns and stings. That's not good.... I'm going to dance tonight and hopefully work some more of the lactic acid out of my legs. Everything has been so hectic here at home. I can't imagine what it'll be like in two months when I go back to Skidmore. I miss everyone from Australia so much that I get angry just thinking about it. I miss some Skid kids as well but I never got this angry before. Something's going on and I can't really control it. So if you talk to me and I snap at you... Please don't take it personally. I promise I'm trying to keep myself from becoming the bitch I was in high school. There's nothing else to really say so I guess I'll just leave it at that. Laters!