Am I the ONLY one?!

I feel so incredibly alone right now. I think I'm the only one who worries about this crap as much as I do. I got my grades for Spring 2010...
Social Stats (4 credits):B+
Social Theory (4 credits):B+
Intro to Anthro (4 credits): A-
Intro to Teaching (3 credits): A-
Jazz Theater (2 credits): A
Riding (1 credit): A

I was literally percentage points away from an A- in both the Stats and Theory classes. I'm pretty sure I had an 89 and 88 respectfully.... FML!!!!! I was so close to my goal/new years resolution. This sucks!!! Now I'm stuck with a 3.5 semester GPA and a 3.3 CGPA. THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!! That's a freakin B+ average!!! I should have an A- average!!!!!!!!!! UGHHHHHHH.... I calculated my potential GPA for graduation and realized that the highest GPA I can get with a perfect report card would be a 3.46.... aka FORGET IT!! I'm stuck at a 3.3 forever. It's official. There's no hope for me. I will never be the grade getter that I thought I would be as a freshman in high school. I was 0.03 away from graduating with honors in high school and now I'm a good 0.4 away. It just keeps getting further and further away. I am living proof of the whole as you get older your brain is the first to go thing. I'm hopeless!

Moving on: I bought GRE study aids today. I'll be working on improving my vocab from now until October. Not to mention remembering how to do basic math and logic things. Man it's been a while. I'm really nervous about this. I really want to get better grades and do well on the GRE's so that I can be accepted to UPS for the M.Ed. in Counseling program. If I don't get in, I have NO CLUE what I'm going to do. I know I wanna head that direction geographically because that's where J3 will be and I can't stand to be apart from him for more than the time we're already going to be. I mean really, there's all of this year (SENIOR YEAR BABY!!) and then 6-8 months after that for the Disney College Program.... damn that's a long time :/ I really wish there was a way for me to do everything all at once. I just wanna know where I'm going to end up 5 years from now. I hate not knowing. What's even worse is I hate preparing for something that I don't know if it's even possible for me to go that route. It's like eating your vegetables when you don't know if dessert is an option. Yes I did just compare preparation for the future to vegetables and the outcome to be dessert.... I still have issues with vegetables but hey that's what I have J3 for :) He makes sure I eat my vegetables.... as well as eat multiple meals a day :P

But back to my subject question... AM I THE ONLY ONE?! Am I just putting too much emphasis on this whole process? Am I making my life a lot more stressful than it needs to be? Am I the only one who gets this antsy about not knowing? If anyone has any advice for how to chill out about this I would LOVE to hear it. I look forward to hearing from you... and I'll keep you updated about everything else that goes on in my ever-thinking brain. It's funny how when I was with J3 I would NEVER be this unsure or antsy about what would happen in the future. I felt so much more sure about us and about life. But now that I have more time alone I realize that I think and freak out about the future a lot more than I want to. Any thoughts?? Until then... Laters