What FightClub Has Taught Me

Tonight was an intense meeting (yes, I'm writing this at 1am while it's still fresh in my head). People yelled at each other. People cried or were on the verge of crying. People talked. People argued. People defended themselves. People heard what was being said. But no one was listening. From this meeting I learned a few things being the silent secretary for the mediators, who reluctantly stepped in with high hopes that the group would be able to work things out for themselves. Unfortunately, things rarely work out as you plan, nor do they ever go as you would hope. My stomach twisted more and more as peoples' voices raised to the point where I thought we needed to physically break up the fight. I thought I was going to pass out or throw up. Conflicts scare me, but I learn from them. Here is what I learned tonight:

1. If you're here to make it easier, you're here for the wrong reason.
2. Learning starts where discomfort begins.
3. Too much of a good thing, can be bad.

There is a lot more that I learned tonight. I will continue to learn with each mediation and yes, I will admit that I am afraid of leaving the club the way it is, but sometimes you have to trust that everything will be OK. As I've often said, FightClub is my new born baby. At this point right now, I'm leaving my baby at day care for the first time. It's hard for every new mother to do but she has to trust that her baby is in good hands. I trust that this club will thrive because so many people are so passionate about making it the best club that it can be. Some day I will hear about the club on the news because they will be saving the world one conflict at a time. Some day I will be sitting in a mediation thinking to myself, "Compared to FightClub, this is not a problem." But right now, I'm sitting in my room on edge because I'm terrified that something bad will happen. So... because I've learned so much from you all, I would like to pass on some words of wisdom that hopefully you'll remember the next time you're in need of a mediator:

1. A title means nothing. People will recognize you (no matter how much you try to make it anonymous). No one will go unnoticed. Even when no one else recognizes what you did, you know what you did and that's one more person that that event had noticing it than it did before you did it.
2. An e-board has to be a team, not just a group. Work together and encourage each other but most importantly, keep each other in check. Don't take things your teammate says personally. He or she is just looking out for the chemistry of the team.
3. Listen to each other. Everyone has things to say. Think about how it feels not to be heard. Don't make anyone else feel that way. When in doubt, STFU. Physically take one step back from each other, take a deep breath, and then start again when all the noise has quieted down.

I want to see this club bloom. This is but a seed in a pot just beginning to root. We have a small stem but no leaves yet. I'm a girl, I want flowers. Keep it alive long enough for a flower to bud and bloom. Then send me a picture so that I can cherish it for all eternity. Please don't let your passion die, because I might go with it. Keep learning from each other and don't forget, I'm always here to keep you updated. Until then... Laters.