I'm growing up!

Disclaimer: if you are not a woman you may not want to read this first part. Scroll down and look for the part that says EVERYONE.
I had my first GYN exam. It was so awkward. I hate people looking at me "there" if you know what I mean. It's just weird and I don't know why I'm so weirded out by it but I am. So I basically freaked out about the whole thing the entire time I was waiting to go in and then I continued to freak out until the nurse told me what she was going to do. I must've looked freaked because she talked to me the entire time until she was done. She explained everything she was gonna do and then she said it again while she was doing it and then a third time after she was done. I felt a lot better when it was done because I didn't realize that it was so simple. She did a breast exam on me too. I had never had that done to me. Usually I do it to myself because that's what we're constantly told at condom carnivals and what not (yes Skidmore has condom carnivals where they teach you all about the importance of birth control, healthy sex habits, etc. It's actually really informative and it makes sex seem like not such a taboo act. It also promotes self examinations for both girls and guys as well as knowledge about STI's. It's basically a fun day where you learn a lot AND get free condoms by the bag-full). So I self-examine about once a month. But to have someone else do it for me was just weird. I think I have personal space/touching issues. If it's not someone I have romantic feelings for, I just can't be comfortable with them seeing me or touching me when I'm naked. But I got through it and now I don't have to worry about it until next April before I graduate :)

EVERYONE:
Ok so here's where you can read if you didn't wanna read about my "experience" above :P
I got a 95 on my paper for Theory!!! Prof. said that I got the highest grade in the class on that paper and asked if he could publish it onto his class website! I felt so freaking honored!!! This was the paper that I busted my butt over when I had a fever and couldn't get stop shivering. Unfortunately I don't think I can get a grade like that ever again... it was nice while it lasted. Also my Stats presentation on Oregon was incredible!!!! I got all dressed up and felt really comfortable talking in front of everyone. I got a lot of praises for that and it made me feel really great about it. I think I may actually be doing well in Sociology again :) Which is amazing seeing as it's my major. I can't wait for Senior Sem to kick my ass next semester :P

I titled this I'm growing up. Partially because of the incidents above and partly because I'm going to pick up my APARTMENT KEYS tomorrow :D I will be living on my own, off-campus, in a different town, and paying rent (probably with Mommy and Daddy's help). I have a landlord!!!! So exciting :) OK I know it's not that big of a deal but I mean c'mon, I don't do anything by myself. I live in a dorm as a Junior, I live with my parents in the room that I grew up in when I got home, and all the other times I'm somewhere else I'm with a family member that can take care of me. I'm rarely ON MY OWN. I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda freaked about the whole thing. I mean what will I do in my spare time if I'm not with anyone?? I have class to worry about for summer school and I will work during the afternoon and night times as well as weekends but I mean when I have a day off, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!

I'm also getting braces again. I've been going to the ortho for my preliminary exams and what not so that they know what they need to do. Then in July I will get my braces on and they'll be off by February (hopefully). I just cant wait until my teeth are fixed because they are driving me INSANE!! I have been taking care of those appointments on my own this whole time which kinda weirds me out because I'm doing it and not my mom. She usually handles all my scheduling stuff. When did I become this independent of her?! It's a scary thought.

I'm taking care of my plants and they're growing nicely. I freaked out yesterday because it looked like they were dying but this morning they were standing straight up and their leaves were open again. I'm not sure why they did that but they scared me. I repotted them and gave them plenty of water. I even took them outside to get direct sunlight and read to them at night so that they could take in all the CO2 they needed. But I went to sleep worried that they were gonna die before they got to really live. I know.... I'm bizarre. I prefer to think of it as Maternally Mature :) Jeremy says that I'll make a great mother one day. Honestly, I don't think I will. I worry too much and I think I will be too strict and over-protective of my kids :/ I already know that I'm gonna be the strict parent and who ever the dad is will be the fun parent. It's a reality I have come to accept.

On a side note: Jeremy and I were joking around about kids and I said that because of his crazy stories I would never have kids with him (relax... we were just joking around. I'm no where near ready to consider having kids with anyone yet. It's just fun to envision what it would be like). The conversation went something like this:
Me: You're crazy! I can't have kids with you... They'll end up killing me because I would worry about them so much. I can just imagine having a girl who's like me and a boy who's like you.
J: Oh yea? How would that work out?
Me: The boy would do something bad and the girl would say "oohhhhh Mom's gonna kill you if she finds out!"
J: yea but then the boy would say "well Mom will kill me but Dad will high five me!"

I nearly died laughing at that! Because it's actually really true. I'd kill my son and then go after him for encouraging that kind of behavior. But it was good fun and I'm learning to lighten up... kinda. I mean if he can manage to stay alive for almost 22 years, with no grade in his ENTIRE life below an A- let alone an 86% (I think that's what your most recent grade was. If not lemme know so I can fix it), and have fun while doing it, then I guess he wouldn't be such a bad guy to have kids with :) Xx J3!! Can't wait to see you in 22 days!

So back to my I'm growing up thought.... There were more incidents that lead me to believe that I was growing up.... None of which I can really disclose on the internet because I think some people may kill me for it. But if you wanna know feel free to ask me via aim/msn/skype and I'll see what I can tell you depending on who you are. Here are the count downs:
1 day until Fun Day
4 days until classes end
10 days until finals week starts
10 days until my final paper for Theory is due
11 days until my exam for anthro is due
13 days until my exam for Stats takes place
14 days until I go home
22 days until I go to California
25 days until I turn 21 :)

That's all for now. I'm off to go riding for the last time this semester and I will be sure to update you on how things turn out for me. If not week by week it'll be twice a month or so. Thanks for staying with me through my rough semester. Until then.... Laters!