longest horse show EVER!

First of all can I just say that home shows are already long. We usually wake up and start working by 6:45. The show usually starts at 8 and we're out of there by 5pm if we're lucky. Because it was snowing all last night through until now (it's still snowing), we postponed the show until 10am this morning. Therefore, we didn't get done with the show until 7pm. I wasn't showing so I just handled my baby Blue :D. Everyone was really tired and grouchy by the end of the night. We lost to Hartwick!!!!!!! WTH?! Next weekend is Hartwick's show so we'll be sure to take their home show victory away from them. I was pissed when I got back to my room but then I looked over at my window to see five stems sprouting in my cup of soil :). Last Tuesday I had planted some seeds in hope of growing some flowers for a little piece of spring. It made me smile to know that within less than a week my flowers have started to grow and are looking very healthy! That's pretty much the only thing that has been keeping me smiling for the last couple of days.

I turned in three more applications and haven't heard back from any of them.... LAME. But I can't do anything about the fact that the economy sucks right now. I have been keeping up with my homework because I haven't been doing anything other than riding, dance, and school work. Occasionally I go out on the weekends but not very often. It's getting depressing in my room. No life in my room (hence why I planted flowers... it's a form of life!!), only my computer to communicate with people... I've become a hermit. Spring break is in two weeks and midterms is in one. Bring on the stress! I have to start choreographing for Breakbeats again because we need 12 pieces and we only have 7. There's a month (technically) before the Rithmos show and we're probably performing at Pulse as well (even though we don't know when that is). We have the Aca dinner to perform at in late April (I think) and then of course there's our show that we have to prepare for. So basically we have to get a lot of crap done. Can you believe that we're 2 weeks away from the half way mark?! It's amazing how quickly these past few weeks went by so quickly. It felt long but then I look at how much is left and I realize that the weeks are crossing off so quickly. This is making me PANIC. If I don't start working soon I don't really see the point in living here for the summer. I'm not going to have anything to do. So it's one of those moments where I'm like, "is it really worth even looking for a place to live anymore?" "Should I just come home?" I'm starting to hate Skidmore. I love the teachers and the classes but the people I have to interact with on a day to day basis are annoying. Skidmore is such a high school!! There was a rumor going around about the riding team and Breakbeats is getting an amazing reputation that's hard to keep up. So everyone knows me as this ridiculous contradictory of a good and bad students based on the extra curriculars I do. Well SCREW YOU SKID KIDZ I'm over it. Just gimme the damn degree and let me leave already.

I'm sure I have a lot more to say but there's nothing I can really think of at the moment. I know that soon enough I'll be back on the computer typing out all my problems for the world to read (because my life is really that interesting). Special shout out to Justin because he's had a rough weekend too. Even when you make me worried, I still manage to smile at the sound of your voice :) Thanks for calling me this morning. To everyone else, enjoy the random updates. Until next time.... Laters!

let it snow let it snow let it snow

If only it was good snow and not flavorless slush puppies. Driving in slush is crazy. It's like it's raining so you splash through puddles but its still snowing so it accumulates on your windshield and blocks your vision. Riding practice tonight was canceled because during my afternoon lesson all of our horses FREAKED out and a few started bucking. My horse spooked and wouldn't stand still after that. She kept coughing and shaking her head. It was rather scary. This snow is just being ridiculous to everyone and everything.

This weekend I went bowling on Friday. I went with Tal, Kadeem, and Dawid. We played four games and changed our names every game. It was hilarious! Kadeem was Kadeem, Killah, Studly, and Rum. Dawid was Dave, Duh, Smatas, and Tequila. Tal was Tally, Trapa, Sassy, and Patron. I was Chelc, Culprit, Sekc, and Vodka. Hopefully you can see the patterns we were following. The scores were pretty bad.

Game 1: Kadeem: 96. Dawid: 92. Tal: 105. Me: 65
Game 2: Kadeem (Killah): 104. Dawid (Duh): 50. Tal (Trapa): 108. Me (Culprit): 61Game 3: Kadeem (Studly): 78. Dawid (Smatas): 85. Tal (Sassy): 151. Me (Sekc): 116.

Game 4: Kadeem (Rum): 106. Dawid (Tequila): 86. Tal (Patron): 86. Me (Vodka): 62.

I bowled the last game with my left hand because my right hand was so sore!! How sad.... My score on my left hand was the same as my right hand haha. After the games we called it a night and went back to campus.

Saturday night I went to the movies with Jen :) We went to see Valentine's Day. Then that got out at 9 so we decided to see Dear John. BEST TWO MOVIES EVERRRRRRRRR!!!!! I cried throughout the ENTIRE movie of Dear John and absolutely fell in LOVE with Valentine's Day. I recommend both for everyone!!!!! I got back to my room and wrote a letter because I was so inspired by the movie to express how I felt. Ok so the letter got to be like 3 pages long but hey it was something that had to be written. Then I put the letter in a box and mailed the box with a bunch of other stuff to someone special. I won't say who it's for because you might be reading this and I don't want to ruin the surprise :D

Sunday I cranked out my univariate assignment really quickly because I was sick of homework at that point seeing as I wrote my Theory paper ALL week last week. I'm so over my assignments. Love the classes. Hate the homework.

Spring break is coming up in three weeks and midterms are up in two. I'm going to Philly to visit Swigman and live with her for the week. I think I mentioned that in the last post but just as a reminder. The week has only begun so I'll be sure to let you know how the rest goes. Laters!

my smile goes from NY to Australia

My day has been absolutely amazing so far. I woke up and was all grouchy because I was sleep deprived and stress-sick and was basically just exhausted. So I dragged my butt out of bed and got dressed for riding. Keep in mind that I hadn't eaten since 2:00pm Thursday afternoon. Before that I hadn't eaten since 9:00am Wednesday morning. I was too stressed to eat. So moving on.... I was tired and slightly hungry but more than anything my body and mind were just exhausted. I go to the barn after turning in my paper (YES IT'S DONE WITH!!!) and see who I'm riding. Lady Cate for my 12:00pm lesson. Great.... the laziest, brattiest, snippiest horse at the barn.... not to mention the hardest horse to canter in the history of ever!!! No one can canter that horse. She runs away with you, she doesn't move at all... there's just no winning with that horse. So Karen tells me that I'm not being punished, she is. Yea... Right... like I could punish this horse. I'm not aggressive enough to punish her! But whatever, no complaining, at least I'm riding. So after tacking her up and trotting around a little bit I'm feeling pretty good. Then Karen shouts, "drop your stirrups!!!" Man I thought I was gonna fall off my horse. In the middle of the lesson I started to feel a little dizzy, probably from the lack of food in my body. So I take a moment to stop and collect myself together. Then Karen yells "one, two, three, CANTER!" Low and behold, Lady Cate cantered PERFECTLY. She didn't break more than a couple times on the right lead and she didn't run away with me. Now I had to really hold my body together and keep her AND myself organized but I did it!!! I got the gold star for the day and the blue ribbon had that been a show. I got the gold starred blue ribbon! Everyone was impressed because, let's face it, Lady Cate's a pain to ride. I was so proud of myself.

When the lesson was over I got off and looked to see who I was supposed to ride next hour in Cindy's lesson. UGH!!!! Nicky G. He's the meanest horse to tack up. So much fun to ride but the meanest, nastiest horse to tack. He kicked me once and stepped on my foot while I tried to put his halter on. He also attempted to bite my shin when I was putting him on cross ties!!!! That damn horse made me soooo mad. I didn't have the energy to put up with him so I punched him as hard as I possibly could in the stomach and he mellowed out. Then I rode him and had a fairly decent ride but my legs are definitely going to hurt tomorrow.

Then I decided to go to Dunkin' Donuts for lunch. I got a ham and swiss flat (delicious sandwich. highly recommended if you're ever looking for a light lunch at 3 in the afternoon). I also went grocery shopping so that I could continue to eat now that my stress from the week is going away. ICE CREAM!!!!! was at the top of my list :) I bought a few snacks and then of course I got my usual sandwich making things for quick bites when I'm running late for class. Hopefully I don't get too stressed out on my next few assignments.

I have 3 weeks until Spring break and 4 assignments before I go on break. I managed to get in touch with Swigman and will be visiting her at her home for a week :) No worries Aussies. We will be taking heaps of pics and tagging you in them so it'll be just like second semester '09 :D Btw Sorry for being so short-fused lately. The stress gets to me. I'll be talking to you more often now that I'm not as stressed out. Thanks for being so patient with me. Not even just the Aussies but all of you who have been so understanding of my craziness. I honestly don't know what I would do without all of you there encouraging me every day that I can pull through this semester. LOTS OF LOVE!!!!! Xx <3 until I update you again..... Laters!

I confuse myself

It's a wonder how all my friends are still my friends. Last week I was given my paper assignment for Social Theory. We hadn't covered a lot of the readings that were assigned and the topic was INCREDIBLY vague. This paper is our first one so it's important to do fairly well on it, aside from the fact that it's 20% of our final grade. So of course, the entire class is freaking out being like "what are we supposed to write about?!" "how are we supposed to use the readings we didn't cover in class?!" blah blah blah. Now you all know me and how ridiculous my stress level can get over the tiniest thing. If 14 other students in the class are stressing over the paper.... where do you think my stress level was?? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the stress level where I cry every night, I was at about 13. I wanted to work on my paper over the weekend but I had a horse show (which added to my stress). I also couldn't start it without knowing what the topic was. I emailed the professor and apparently I was starting my paper too early. WHAT KIND OF PROFESSOR TELLS A STUDENT THAT SHE'S STARTING A PAPER TOO EARLY WHEN IT'S DUE IN 7 DAYS?!?!?! That only freaked me out more. So finally when Monday came around, I had already been crying every night for about 3 days straight, I went to class and demanded that we discuss the paper. Everyone else was like "YES PLEASE!!!" Made me feel so much better that I wasn't the only one stressing the paper... maybe the only one stressing at a level 13 but still, I wasn't alone. So after we discussed the paper and got all questions out of the way and covered more material in a paper-oriented fashion, I felt like a garage had been lifted off me. There was still a house on me at least the garage was no longer suffocating me. I went home Monday night and sat and tried to work on my paper. I got about 200 words written in two hours. FML the stress was back. If it was going to take me an hour to write 100 words on average, I was gonna need 20 hours to write the whole paper. I didn't have that kind of time! Tuesday came around and I wrote a little more but not too much. Then today my brain woke up and I started to write quicker and with more intent. I managed to write 600 words in the span of two hours giving me a total of 800 before I had to go to class. My stress level had dropped so quickly you would've thought that you were staring at thermometer in a freezer freshly transported from a pot of boiling water!! I don't know why I stressed so much. I always manage to get my work done in time even with all my activities. So basically I got sick from stress and worried my friends for no reason. I'm so sorry you guys!! I'm currently finishing up my rough draft tonight and have all of tomorrow to edit it. I am eating again now that I'm not so stressed. I have one more assignment due this month but that one is a joke. It's basically proving you can use microcase to a teacher who ends a statistician story with "he took a revolver and shot all three chimps in his friends home." Yea don't ask me I have no idea what he was talking about either. There's a horse show coming up on Sunday at Cornell. I'm not showing but I wanna shout out to my teammates who are. Good luck ladies!! Get a perfect score card :) There really isn't much else for me to update you on except that job hunting sucks. Well rephrase.... job hunting when the economy is down sucks. I wanna especially send a shout out to Justin for being so patient with me. I know I freak out way too easily but I promise, no more unhealthy habits and no more crying when we talk. Well I promise no more of that to the best of my ability. I hate having such drastic mood swings. I think I should be diagnosed as mildly bipolar. At least then I'll have an excuse to all the emotional trips I've been taking while at Skidmore ALONE *coughcough Raisa ;P I miss you Biscuit E!! On a random but kinda funny note: My tan lines used to glow in black light. But now that my tan lines are gone... will my entire body glow?? Food for thought :P I'm so pale it's disgusting. My hair is dark and my skin is fair... can we say ASIAN?!?! haha anyways it's back to the word processor for me. Thanks for checking back and I'll be sure to update you soon :) Laters!

longest week everrrrrrr

This is only the third week?! FML So I was just given my first two assignments on Wednesday. One is due on Friday and the other is the Monday after next. I looked at my calender and was like this is only my first assignment wow.... oh wait we've only been in school for three weeks. I could've sworn it was at least the 5th or 6th week. I can't wait for spring break.... actually yea I can because I have no clue as to what I'm gonna do for break. But enough about the future... let's recap what happened in the past.

Monday-Wednesday: just classes, dance, and riding. Wednesday was an interesting day seeing as Andrew and I fought AGAIN. I really wish he would just leave me alone or at least stop annoying me on purpose.

Thursday: I had a job interview :) I went to Justice and had a kickin time proving that I should be hired. I really want a job at Gertrude Hawk Chocolates but hey I'll take what I can get.... I'll know by Monday if I got the job or not for Justice. Fingers crossed!!

Friday: spent ALL day at the barn. We were prepping for the show that we had today and it was stressful. I went to bed at like 7.... but then got woken up multiple times :(

Saturday: SUPER scary dream. It started out with me in the back seat of a car, Justin in the passenger seat and Shannon driving. We were going down the street kinda by wilson park near kahala but there were a few added streets in my dream that don't exist in real life. We pulled over because there were two cars on the side of the road. In one car was all of fab 5 minus me (so four girls) and Sean. In the other car was Jason. They got out and Carolyn and Erin were carrying laptops and were on facebook (random I know). I got out and hugged them because I hadn't seen them in a long time (apparently). Then Justin called me back over and I got back in the car and we started to drive off. But then I some how got out of the car and started running. There were these weird druggie looking guys watching me run and saying "running away from your friends? what's going on?" So I got scared because there was a car and an suv following me so I ran down a different street that had a light post in the middle of it so that the cars couldn't follow me. But then I stopped and saw that my grandma and uncle were driving the suv and I hopped in, idk who was in the other car. I asked if they could take me home and right as we were passing kahala mall onto the freeway Justin called me SUPER mad. He screamed "where the f*** are you girly?! are you insane?! do you WANT to die?!" and i told you calmly "I'm by kahala mall. I'll wait for you at the bus stop." But Justin was like "no don't get out of the car." So I didn't but my grandma stopped driving and we just sat in the car by the graveyard and then all of a sudden something hit the window I was sitting next to. Right as the window shattered in my dream the door to my room rattled in real life. so I woke up thinking that someone was at my door but my door tends to rattle when my neighbors' doors close and shake the walls.

I tend to get scary dreams when I'm stressed out. I guess that's what happens when you have a horse show the next day. But I won first place in my WALK TROT CANTER class!!!! cheeeee hoooooo :) Congrats to Amanda for being chosen as captain!! And congrats to everyone who won today!

Tomorrow is Valentine's day and I hate how so many people are making a big deal about it. As a Sociologist I don't like Vday because it's a hallmark holiday just so that a consumer society can be encouraged to consume more of the society. Justin is planning on doing something with me when I get home but otherwise I really don't like celebrating holidays that have no meaning behind them. Only 3 months until I go home and celebrate for a world of reasons with Justin :)

For now it's off to doing my reading to get caught up for Monday's hell day. I have to read 45 pages for Anthro, 30 pages for Theory, and two assignments to start. Wish me luck!! Laters

I have anger issues

What do you do when the outlet for you stress and anger becomes the reason you're angry?? I swear if someone doesn't shut that know-it-all up real soon I will shut her up and do the time for it. This chick on my dance team is seriously pissing me off. We'll be dancing someone else's choreography and she'll be saying corrections. Or she'll be counting with the choreographer. I'm all for helping the choreographer count when we're just running through the dance but when we're trying to clean the piece and we're stopping on specific counts to answer any questions, you really can't be rushing ahead of where the choreographer wants you to be. The girl I'm referring to is in the dance department and she takes ballet and modern classes. I respect that she's a talented dancer in those areas of dance but she isn't that great at hip hop. She doesn't look like the rest of us. She looks like a ballet dancer trying to mock hip hop dancers. She's having fun and I'm all for that.... But seriously at least look like you're trying. I cannot emphasize enough how much we do NOT need more than two choreographers teaching a piece at any given time. She just keeps giving corrections that the choreographer will eventually see and correct him/herself. Yes sometimes we need a voice to ask the question to clarify the movement but not every single little thing needs to be pointed out by someone who doesn't even know the choreography. When it's my turn to teach and choreograph I will seriously put her in her place and if she says one thing I will shut her up and kick her out of my piece. She has been pissing me off since I've been back. She's not even an old member!! She's brand new this semester. Just because you're a dancer doesn't mean you get to be a diva to those who haven't had as much experience with choreography or teaching as you. If we want your damn help, we'll ask!!!!!! So shut up and take the back seat for once!!!! If you're reading this, which I doubt you are because you don't care about anyone but yourself, I hope you realize how upset at this I am. You have officially taken the one thing in my life that I have poured everything into, and made me want to quit. I've wanted to quit before but for other reasons and I was never really serious about quitting. But seriously, if you piss me off one more time I will drop Breakbeats regardless of how much I love that team. I no longer have a healthy outlet for my anger and if you don't stop I will take it out on you. I'd rather not because I have A LOT to lose but you are pushing it.... Stop trying to be the star of Breakbeats.

Special thanks to Winston for calming me down in my time of desperation. I can't tell you how much that means to me. To everyone else I hope you enjoyed my rant once again. Until next time... Laters!

I feel the pain

I can't even remember the last time I updated you. I have been rushing through each day just trying to keep up with time. Saturday was the last big thing that happened as I recall. Breakbeats threw a fund raising party and it was HOT!!!! It was called Break the Quake with the Breakbeats. We asked for donations at the door and raised over $320 for the Haiti Relief Fund. The night was filled with fun and LOTS of dancing. Sunday we all had practice and seriously thought that we were gonna die from the night before. We managed to get some stuff done though. Monday was hectic as well. I went from class to class like a zombie. I was on auto pilot just going through the motions and much to my surprise one of my classes let us out early so that we could go to the Haiti Teach-in (or something like that). So after sitting through that brainlessly for a half hour I went back to my room and KTFO'd (stolen from Justin :P) at around 6. Then I woke up at 11:30 because I was so hungry. Just my luck I'd wake up at a time when Dhall was closed. So I went back to sleep after drinking some water. I woke up again at 6 and watched TV for an hour or so before getting ready for class. I had already done my reading and other homework for today's class on Sunday night so I was so glad I was able to sleep that long. Today was supposed to be an easy day... Class from 9:40-12:30 (relatively easy classes to get through day in and day out) and then a riding lesson at 3. Much to my surprise I get an email saying "your practice times are..." and there it was under Tuesday nights at 7pm. I have to go to the barn twice on Tuesdays with only a few hours in between the times I need to be there. I can't exactly get homework done in that time, nor do I want to stay at the barn for 5 hours. What am I supposed to do?! And on top of that I have dance practice from 9-11. FML I go from the middle of the day until the late hours of the night to do physical activities with barely any time to eat. So much for an easy day after my hell day on Monday with respect to classes. Wednesday should be an easy day seeing as I go from dance to class to riding and I'm done by 8:30. But Thursdays are my truly lovely days. Class from 9:40-12:30 and then hopefully working at the mall until 8 so that I can get back to campus for Breakbeats practice from 8:30-10:30. Fridays aren't too bad either. Riding from 11:30-2:30 and then hopefully work after that. I guess it's safe to say that my schedule gets progressively easier throughout the week but I still think I'm gonna die in the middle of the week. I just get burnt out too easily. There's no way I'm gonna be able to keep this up ALL semester. It also doesn't help that I have Andrew asking for massages and saying stupid shit like "getting a handjob from someone while he's in a relationship with someone else isn't cheating" and TJ saying that I have fangs. WTF?! I have enough people checking up on me I really don't need any more and at this point in the day I really just want to strangle people who irritate me. So STOP IRRITATING ME!!!!!!!!! I've had a frustrating day, I'm PMSing, I miss Justin (not helping the PMS deal), I haven't eaten in 12 hours, I'm in a ridiculous amount of work out pain, and I'm gonna fall behind in my homework on the second week of classes. FML again!

Sometimes I just need to vent out my emotions but I don't always have the time to. Thanks for listening and probably enjoying my random rant of pains in my life at this current moment. Check back soon and there will be more.... Laters!