I confuse myself

It's a wonder how all my friends are still my friends. Last week I was given my paper assignment for Social Theory. We hadn't covered a lot of the readings that were assigned and the topic was INCREDIBLY vague. This paper is our first one so it's important to do fairly well on it, aside from the fact that it's 20% of our final grade. So of course, the entire class is freaking out being like "what are we supposed to write about?!" "how are we supposed to use the readings we didn't cover in class?!" blah blah blah. Now you all know me and how ridiculous my stress level can get over the tiniest thing. If 14 other students in the class are stressing over the paper.... where do you think my stress level was?? On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the stress level where I cry every night, I was at about 13. I wanted to work on my paper over the weekend but I had a horse show (which added to my stress). I also couldn't start it without knowing what the topic was. I emailed the professor and apparently I was starting my paper too early. WHAT KIND OF PROFESSOR TELLS A STUDENT THAT SHE'S STARTING A PAPER TOO EARLY WHEN IT'S DUE IN 7 DAYS?!?!?! That only freaked me out more. So finally when Monday came around, I had already been crying every night for about 3 days straight, I went to class and demanded that we discuss the paper. Everyone else was like "YES PLEASE!!!" Made me feel so much better that I wasn't the only one stressing the paper... maybe the only one stressing at a level 13 but still, I wasn't alone. So after we discussed the paper and got all questions out of the way and covered more material in a paper-oriented fashion, I felt like a garage had been lifted off me. There was still a house on me at least the garage was no longer suffocating me. I went home Monday night and sat and tried to work on my paper. I got about 200 words written in two hours. FML the stress was back. If it was going to take me an hour to write 100 words on average, I was gonna need 20 hours to write the whole paper. I didn't have that kind of time! Tuesday came around and I wrote a little more but not too much. Then today my brain woke up and I started to write quicker and with more intent. I managed to write 600 words in the span of two hours giving me a total of 800 before I had to go to class. My stress level had dropped so quickly you would've thought that you were staring at thermometer in a freezer freshly transported from a pot of boiling water!! I don't know why I stressed so much. I always manage to get my work done in time even with all my activities. So basically I got sick from stress and worried my friends for no reason. I'm so sorry you guys!! I'm currently finishing up my rough draft tonight and have all of tomorrow to edit it. I am eating again now that I'm not so stressed. I have one more assignment due this month but that one is a joke. It's basically proving you can use microcase to a teacher who ends a statistician story with "he took a revolver and shot all three chimps in his friends home." Yea don't ask me I have no idea what he was talking about either. There's a horse show coming up on Sunday at Cornell. I'm not showing but I wanna shout out to my teammates who are. Good luck ladies!! Get a perfect score card :) There really isn't much else for me to update you on except that job hunting sucks. Well rephrase.... job hunting when the economy is down sucks. I wanna especially send a shout out to Justin for being so patient with me. I know I freak out way too easily but I promise, no more unhealthy habits and no more crying when we talk. Well I promise no more of that to the best of my ability. I hate having such drastic mood swings. I think I should be diagnosed as mildly bipolar. At least then I'll have an excuse to all the emotional trips I've been taking while at Skidmore ALONE *coughcough Raisa ;P I miss you Biscuit E!! On a random but kinda funny note: My tan lines used to glow in black light. But now that my tan lines are gone... will my entire body glow?? Food for thought :P I'm so pale it's disgusting. My hair is dark and my skin is fair... can we say ASIAN?!?! haha anyways it's back to the word processor for me. Thanks for checking back and I'll be sure to update you soon :) Laters!