busy busy me!

Classes have started and let me tell you... this is DEFINITELY my hardest semester of my life!!!! I have 17 credits, soon to be 18, with a total of 6 classes and two team activities.

Monday's are my worst. I start at 9:30 with Jazz Theater (best class ever). That ends at 11 and I have to haul ass across campus for my 11:15 class, . That ends at 12:10 which then takes me to my next class at 12:20, Social Statistics Lab. I get a break at 1:15 when that finishes assuming I've finished my work for that class. Then I head over to Social Statistics class at 2:30 until 3:50. After that at 4:00 I have Social Theory until 5:50. Then I'm off to my room to do my reading for the next day.

Tuesday's are decent. I have 9:40 Intro to Teaching until 11:00. Then at 11:10 I have Intro to Social and Cultural Antho. Then I have a break until 2:30 when I need to head over to the barn to ride my troubles away :) I'm essentially done after riding until 9pm when I have Breakbeats practice. That finishes around 11 but of course we always go over time so it's like being done at 11:30/12/when ever the gym kicks us out. Thursday's are the same as Tuesday's minus the riding lesson (so far. I might add a practice ride for fun). Breakbeats practice from 8:30 to 11 and I get home around 11:30/12.

Wednesday's are headed towards my favorite day of the week. I have 9:30 Jazz Theater until 11:00. Then I have a break until 2:30 which is when I have Stats, and then at 4 I have Theory. The discussions in both of those classes are pretty good so far which is why it's potentially my favorite day.

Friday's are free of classes for the most part. I have a riding lesson at 12 and hopefully I'll be able to get a job that will allow me to get my hours done on mostly weekends.

Theory is an INSANE class. We're reading about all these sociologists and theorists and the reading from Monday night took me 4 hours to get through!! I didn't have the class until Wednesday so hopefully that will give me an idea of how to manage my time better. All of my classes require me to read multiple books and I have a feeling I may mix up the readings. I have 40-50 pages of reading for Anthro, intro to teaching, and Stats. I have 100-150 pages of reading for Theory. So any given day from Monday to Friday I will have to read three courses worth of assignments. Most of my classes are 15% or more for participation. There aren't too many assignments outside of that except for Theory when I have four 20% papers to write. I have a lot one midterm/exam and two take home exams. Intro to Teaching hasn't given us a syllabus yet so I'm not sure what the grading scale is like for that class. I can already see myself stressing out over Theory since it's so important for me to get at least an A-. I feel so dumb when Cindy congratulates everyone in the Thoroughbred society and I'm sitting there going I'm the ONLY team member who has a GPA below 3.4. Ugh! This is ridiculous. Well at least I have dance to burn off some steam. Granted I have injuries left and right, but hey that's the life of an athlete/dancer right?? I want to know what my practice schedule is like already so that I can rearrange my homework schedule accordingly. So far I'm finishing before midnight but what happens when I throw night practices in there. Will I be able to finish my assignments ahead of time?? or ON time for that matter??

Baby if you're reading this please prep yourself for frequent panic attacks to your girlfriend throughout the semester. You'll be the first I run to crying when I'm feeling incredibly hopeless and overwhelmed.

As for everyone else... I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again... well maybe weekends, we'll see. But keep checking back for the freak outs of yours truly. Laters!

just some updatin'

Man it's cold!!!! I've gone weak.... lame! I've been here for two and a half days now and despite missing everyone from Hawaii and Aussie land, I'm pretty sure I'm loving being back on the east coast. I definitely belong here whether I like it or not. So here's the latest news since I've been back.

Wednesday afternoon I arrived in Newark. Daddy and I went to Woodbury Commons outlet mall to shop (I needed new boots). While we were shopping it started to snow/flurry a little. I was wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and athletic shoes... needless to say I was freezing! Then we drove onward to Saratoga 2 pairs of boots, one fleece, and one snow pair of snow pants later. We got to the hotel and crashed pretty early from an exhausting day.

Thursday we went to campus to see where I was living. Rounds 119 isn't too bad... It's away from where people can see directly into my room (thank goodness). I cruised around campus for a little showing Dad around. Then we went to the Skidshop to pick up my books (all $370 of them). I checked my mailbox and found my bank statements that the bank claimed not to have and then went to the bank to deposit some money. I went to find a real estate agent so I could find housing for the summer. We weren't too successful in finding a place but we did find an agent willing to keep in touch with us so that we would remain updated on decent rental values.

Friday.... I GOT A CAR!!!!! well I'm leasing it. So it's mine for the next 3 years. I'm only here for 2 years so technically I only need the car for 2 years. But the dealer said that it would be easy to return the car after only 2 years even if I'm on the 3 year minimum lease. YAY!!! I'm so excited... now I can go to work (where ever that may be) and the stables when ever I need to!! So much more convenient.

I feel like I've been here for a lot longer than I have been but I guess that's what happens when you get a lot done in a short amount of time. I move in tomorrow as well as pick up my car. I hope my semester goes as great as this week has gone. I definitely need to kick my grades up now because of all the privileges I'm receiving :X yikes! I'm gonna go crazy from all the studying but it'll be worth it to get my grades up to prove that having a car and having a job and living in Saratoga in the summer is worth it. I'll be sure to let you in on every juicy detail of my torturous semester :) Keep looking back!! Laters.

mixed plate

Am I living in a dream world?? Is it really possible to keep a relationship long distance when it only started 3 days before the distance is placed between them?? What if I add in the fact that it's only a physical relationship right now?? Will 5 months away bring us closer or will it only add to the fact that I'm not worth the wait?? I have so many questions that I won't be able to answer... at least not until I'm gone, not until I come back, not until I break down the walls that keep me from getting hurt. I don't wanna be a cynic but I know that this is all a dream I'll soon wake up from. I can handle the distance, I know I can. To find someone who's willing to start the relationship this late in the game is an incredible feeling. I HAD to take the chance. I've been looking for someone to be willing to do an ldr with me for a long time... But was that really just setting me up for another heart break?? Even worse... what if I'm the one to break his heart because I don't miss him but he wants to stay with me?? If a guy is only physically attracted to you (so far), you're leaving for college 3000+ miles away for 4-5 months, you've only gone out twice, you get together 3 days before you leave, but he still decides to get into a relationship with you... is he worth keeping around?? In my opinion, HELL YEA!! Hence why I decided to accept when he asked "so are we doing the long distance relationship thing?" I only hope he feels the same way. He's not real vocal about his feelings and he's a total gentleman so he hasn't done anything that would chase me away if you know what I mean. I've got so many mixed emotions on how this is gonna go. I wanna make it work but even I know that if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. I've liked him since sophomore year of HIGH SCHOOL! I waited 5 years to have my chance with him. I guess 5 months away from him is worth the wait to see if it'll work out right?? I'm not having second thoughts about saying yes, I'm just looking both ways before I cross the street this time. As Leanna once said "no risk no gain." I'll do everything I can on my part to see this relationship work. I only hope he does the same. We're not completely public (aka on facebook) because we're not sure where this is going. And I don't really want it to be that public. I guess it's because I don't want our relationship to last only because we're public. You know when you don't break up because you don't want to make a big deal about the status on facebook?? Yea I want this to last or fail because WE made it do so, not because others were tracking us on facebook.

This will be my last post from the rock in the middle of the sea... until May. I will continue to update you from the place I tend to call home for most of the year, Toga Town, aka Saratoga Springs. The updates may not be as exciting because most of the time it'll be about school, riding, and dance since that's what my life revolves around while I'm away. So until I update you next, wish me luck! Skidmore College, Look out! I'm back to rule Junior year!! Laters :)

bring on the hard work

academically AND relationship wise :) Last night was my second date with Justin. We went to Auntie Pasto and then watched a couple movies at his place. We watched Fame (nothing like the musical on Broadway) and The Hangover (f'n hilarious!!). Then we talked and reminisced about high school years and other stories that kept me smiling all night. Then we talked about what kind of girlfriend I am compared to what kind of daughter I am. That lead us into a relationship. Yes ladies and gentlemen I am officially taken again (fingers crossed this one will work out). I now have two incentives to come home thanks to Justin. There's so much for me to look forward to and so much for me to dread this semester.... here's a list:

Looking forward to:
1) Equestrian team/possibly showing
2) Decorating/rearranging my room for a fresh start
3) Break Beats (maybe)
4) 18 wonderful credit hours of class time to bury myself in once I get started
5) Working at the mall as many hours as possible to keep me busy
6) Friday's off=more time to possibly work
7) The idea of Hugh and Davies coming to visit me in May!!
8) Finishing the school year in mid May to come home for my birthday and to see Justin.

Dreading:
1) A full semester of hard work in 18 credits worth of classes to get my straight A's
2) No friends because they're all abroad (Raisa/Maria that's for you)
3) 5 months away from Justin :P
4) Being all alone in the FREEZING cold weather

*sigh* I'll have a blast this semester because I'm going back to Skidmore and I can visit people on the weekends... AKA Swigman at F&M and Sarah at UConn and Gus Gus at North Eastern and Jamie at Skid (well she's coming to me because she lives in Toga). So I have lots of friends to hang with they just don't go to my school... FML lol that's ok. I should focus on school work anyway. I will work out a lot and get in really good shape so that when I come home I won't get any of those what-happened-to-you comments :P Speaking of working out... I did insanity yesterday. I woke up this morning and seriously didn't know how I was gonna get out of bed. I jumped down and almost collapsed because I was soooooo sore when I landed. My calves are so tight and my back and my abs are ready to scream bloody murder. I'm in SOOO much pain!!!! But I love it :P I'm gonna be sore for the next three days!! *sigh* again. lol I think that's all the updates I have for now. I went through a minor breakdown again on Friday but that's old news already. If it happens again you'll be the first to know. Promise :) Until next time!! Laters

well this is just GREAT!

Ok so of course I've royally screwed myself into the ground again. There are two reasons as to why I'm really upset/frustrated with myself. First is the fact that I allowed myself to fall into that stupid hole in the ground in terms of dating. Yes I went out on another date. Only this time it was successful and I have a second one. Bad idea seeing as I'm leaving in a week for the snow and icy life style of Saratoga Springs. I won't be home for a year and leaving that open for that long.... well it just basically won't happen. Justin was great on our date. We went to Old Spaghetti Factory (because you know me and my picky eating habits) and then we went to see Leap Year. It was an amazing movie, I recommend seeing it! Then we went to the restaurant that he works at and hung out there playing wii for a few hours. I came in second (lost to Justin). But his friends were so much fun to hang out with. I think that's when I realized that my sophomore dream guy was more than just a dream. I was convinced that he was going to be like all my other high school choices and we wouldn't hit it off. But hey that's what happens when you wait 5 years to go out with a guy... you both change and in this case, it strengthened my chances of falling for him. But I refuse to get hurt again. He wouldn't hurt me on purpose, I know, but me leaving will hurt me. It's kinda like fishing. You may have every intention of throwing the fish back into the ocean after you catch it but catching the fish will scare, hurt, and possibly scar the fish for life! I'm the fish and I'm chasing his bait. Do I dare bite it for a taste of pure bliss before I get hooked and have to suffocate for a minor minute while he unhooks me and throws me back, only to be disoriented and potentially somewhere I have no idea how to get back home? Why do I always risk the chance of falling for someone? I could've been a good girl and said no thanks but something about him made me say "I won't get hooked! It's Justin from high school." And now look where I am!! I'm not sure if I'm the one who changed so I like different guys now, if he's changed so he's the type of guy I like now, or if it's both. Either way I'm back to square one in terms of confusion in the department of dating. It also doesn't help that I'm still recovering from Adam. I really need to stop this jumping from guy to guy thing... I'm not as strong as I was in high school and I just can't emotionally deal with it anymore!

Second reason I'm screwed... I worked out twice yesterday. First ballet class (first time in a year!!) and that was tough! I'm no longer in high school, I have to keep remembering that because being out of shape takes a toll on your body :( Then I did p90x AB RIPPER!!!! AHHHHHHH bad mistake!! now I have to go riding for an hour or so and I think I may fall off my horse X( What possessed me to do such a work out schedule is beyond me.

So there you have it.... two stupid reasons as to why I'm an idiot and screwed myself into the ground. Hope you enjoyed reading all about my harsh week and it's only Tuesday!! Look back for more troubles headed my way :) Laters!

2010 brings new options

Since the new year started I've been going non stop everyday!!

Sunday: I went to the pampered chef demo so that I could learn how to cook. I was supposed to go to Mrs. Young's ward for church but I decided learning how to cook was more important ;) She told me later that there were 25 young single men in her class that she teaches and had I been there I could've found my future husband X( I'm going next Sunday (I think) because otherwise her and Febray will give me a hard time again if I don't. Later that day I went out to Ward with Kelso and Fab5 minus Carolyn. We spent hours talking and catching up. Then we went to Mandi's house to play Wii for a couple of hours. We played brawl (coughcough Nick and Raisa) and Mario bros (coughcough Hugh and Rupert). That was the end of that night and I went home around 12.

Monday: I was supposed to hang out with Troy in the morning but he had to cancel on me. So I stayed at home and I'm pretty sure this is the day that I locked myself out of the house. I had to call my dad and to drive home to give me his set of keys... OOPS!! Later that night I went out with Nick. He hasn't changed at all. I have so it kinda irritated me that he was still at the same level of maturity as when I last saw him two years ago. Back when we were in high school I enjoyed his fun loving side but now I'm not so sure. He's like dessert... only good in small doses. He's still attractive like he was in high school, he's just not quite my type any more (I'm not into players anymore... damnit Adam! You made me like nice guys. lol Jk I love it). I was home by 10:30... sad my life!

Tuesday: I was supposed to hang out with Isaac during the day because I decided to change my riding time to the afternoon so that Mommy could go watch. He had to cancel on me because of work. So I chilled during the day. When I went riding it was raining. Miserable day but was a pretty good ride still yet. After that we went to Grandma's house to start working on the campaign table cloths. I drew sooooooooooo many stars of various sizes and then I made 12 designs for them. I drew the stars, Dad and Grandma cut the stars, I placed the stars, Mom ironed the stars onto the table cloth, Aunty Sandy sewed them on, and then I ironed the final product. This process for all twelve designs took two nights. We went home every night around 12. It was exhausting!!

Wednesday: BEACH DAY!!!!! too bad it was raining in the morning. I picked up Mandi and then Dane. We were supposed to go to the beach but it was overcast and rainy. Erin and Leanna were with us too. So we all went back to my apt. We swam in the pool and hung out in the jaccuzi and then went to play pool. While we were in the jaccuzi Kelso texted and asked if we were going to Sherwoods. It's raining!! No thanks!! Who ever was at Sherwoods had made 400 water balloons for trench warfare. CRAZY KIDS!! But our day had to end in like 4 hours so if we went we would only be there for like 3 hours... not worth it :/ Anyway.... as we were playing pool the sun came out and the sky was BEAUTIFUL!!! So we went back to the beach and hung out there for an hour before we had to leave. Then I went to work on the table cloths again....

Thursday: I went riding in the morning and say Chelsea!!! So exciting. She was on Moon and almost got bucked off. My favorite quote... Chelsea said "please be nice I don't wanna die today!!" and my reply was "yea as if you wanna die any other day?!" lol it was so funny while we were both riding horses that were a little tempermental. Popcorn was actually really nice that day. He spooked a couple times but not too bad and he tripped so many times I swear he was intoxicated :P That was the greatest ride I had at the barn that day. I felt stronger and I think I'm ready to go back to Skidmore to ride for the team again :D Later that day I picked up my mom as I usually do and then we went to the arena to work. We are scheduled to work this night, Friday night, and Saturday night!! ARGH!!!! No variety in food choice :( oh well. I love working because I have so much fun (weird huh?). Everyone keeps asking me why I'm still working but when you're mom is the coordinator of fund raising you don't really have a choice. All the credits that I work up go to her and she uses them to go on the Drill Team trips. So I'm basically working for her to travel.... HOW'S THAT?! nah Jk It's cool I love working with my friends from Drill.

I have a dinner date (sorta) with Justin on Sunday.... Yes sophomore dream guy Justin!! lol I've had a crush on him since I went out with Yu but because they were friends I never tried to go after him. We have had some interesting conversations in the past and not sure how seeing him in person after 3 years will go. Pretty exciting. Hopefully we don't have the same situation as the Nick date. It's a one time thing so there's no pressure or anything. But I'm still socially awkward and he's gonna make it hard for me to open up. I hate dates. I just want the perfect guy to fall into my lap and say I'm your soul mate, marry me! But according to my guy fast all I can do is date. I can't make a relationship or hook up with anyone so it's a safe bet that marriage is pretty much out of the ball park as well :P Until I see Raisa again I'm stuck in good girl zone... Raisa hurry up and come home!!!!! lol Well that's all the updates I have for you. Keep coming back and I'll let you know how everything goes. Laters!

Happy New Years!!!!

So 2010 has finally come. I am officially counting down to everything:
The days until I return to school
The weeks until Spring break
The months until SENIOR YEAR (yikes!!)
The semesters until I can apply for Disney College Program and ANU
The years until I (hopefully) return to Oz :)

And that's just a few of the major events waiting to happen. There's so much I have to look forward to in this semester alone: Break Beats, Equestrian, work, school. I have heaps of New Years Resolutions that I will need to work on. There's a list of them below that you can sift through should you feel like it. The new year brings new possibilities for me to change who I am and begin to merge all personalities of me into one super cool girl. HAH super cool... yea right! At least I'll be one person instead of one person for every location I go to.

I'm really excited for classes to start because I have a pretty good schedule. Intro to Anthropology will be easy for me to get through. Intro to Education will be interesting to learn about. Sociology x2 will be my hardest classes because I'm supposed to be taking the requirement courses which means that they may be pretty dry. I'm taking something like Stats and theory development or something like that. Then of course I have my Jazz Theater class and equestrian lessons. With that course load plus dance and equestrian practices at night, I still manage to have 75% of Tuesdays and Thursdays off and all of Friday off. Of course I'll probably not have Friday off for long because I'll fulfil the day with riding practices, or work. I'm going to get a part time job during the semester. Which means that ALL my free time will be taken up. As long as I have a block of free time at night-- 3-4 hours-- to do homework and study, I should be completely fine. I might get bored in the middle of the semester with my schedule but that should just be around the time of Spring break so I'll renew myself during that time.

Speaking of Spring break I'm most likely going to Boston for that week. Not entirely sure if I'll be there the whole week or just part of it. I may want to go to other places but we'll see. Anyone have any ideas as to what I should do??

Last night I worked soup with Noe and we got into some deep conversations about boys. Noe stated that I was destined to marry Nathaniel because her friend is really good friends with him which means that we're each others' friend of a friend. How she came to the conclusion that we're soul mates I have no idea but that's ok because it was funny. Then we talked about my plan of getting married and what not. I'm definitely not coming back to Hawaii to live so if I marry someone from Hawaii then he needs to be willing to move to another state with me. Ideally I'd marry someone from another country... everyone knows my number one choice in country but any other country would do just fine too. Yea we talked a lot about this last night lol. But that's really only as far as I figured out because it's really not something I can control as much as I wish I could. Sometimes I wish I could just get set up with someone because I don't really wanna date guys that I know... no offense. But it's ok, because that's one of my new years resolutions... check it out!!

1) no partying until May 25 (that's when I turn 21).
2) no hook ups or boyfriends until I see Raisa again (that may be as early as June or as late as September).
3) all grades this semester will be an A- or above (long shot).
4) I will not miss a single riding practice unless I'm dying, failing a class, or have to go to another ACADEMIC event.
5) I will not miss an academic class unless I'm dying or physically incapable of getting to class.
6) eat healthier and work out harder to get the body I really want (aka look like a hot model).

That's it for now. I'm off to a Pampered Chef demonstration to learn how easy it is to cook great meals :P I love being domesticated lol. Keep you updated on everything!! Hope everyone had a happy new year!! laters.