mixed plate

Am I living in a dream world?? Is it really possible to keep a relationship long distance when it only started 3 days before the distance is placed between them?? What if I add in the fact that it's only a physical relationship right now?? Will 5 months away bring us closer or will it only add to the fact that I'm not worth the wait?? I have so many questions that I won't be able to answer... at least not until I'm gone, not until I come back, not until I break down the walls that keep me from getting hurt. I don't wanna be a cynic but I know that this is all a dream I'll soon wake up from. I can handle the distance, I know I can. To find someone who's willing to start the relationship this late in the game is an incredible feeling. I HAD to take the chance. I've been looking for someone to be willing to do an ldr with me for a long time... But was that really just setting me up for another heart break?? Even worse... what if I'm the one to break his heart because I don't miss him but he wants to stay with me?? If a guy is only physically attracted to you (so far), you're leaving for college 3000+ miles away for 4-5 months, you've only gone out twice, you get together 3 days before you leave, but he still decides to get into a relationship with you... is he worth keeping around?? In my opinion, HELL YEA!! Hence why I decided to accept when he asked "so are we doing the long distance relationship thing?" I only hope he feels the same way. He's not real vocal about his feelings and he's a total gentleman so he hasn't done anything that would chase me away if you know what I mean. I've got so many mixed emotions on how this is gonna go. I wanna make it work but even I know that if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. I've liked him since sophomore year of HIGH SCHOOL! I waited 5 years to have my chance with him. I guess 5 months away from him is worth the wait to see if it'll work out right?? I'm not having second thoughts about saying yes, I'm just looking both ways before I cross the street this time. As Leanna once said "no risk no gain." I'll do everything I can on my part to see this relationship work. I only hope he does the same. We're not completely public (aka on facebook) because we're not sure where this is going. And I don't really want it to be that public. I guess it's because I don't want our relationship to last only because we're public. You know when you don't break up because you don't want to make a big deal about the status on facebook?? Yea I want this to last or fail because WE made it do so, not because others were tracking us on facebook.

This will be my last post from the rock in the middle of the sea... until May. I will continue to update you from the place I tend to call home for most of the year, Toga Town, aka Saratoga Springs. The updates may not be as exciting because most of the time it'll be about school, riding, and dance since that's what my life revolves around while I'm away. So until I update you next, wish me luck! Skidmore College, Look out! I'm back to rule Junior year!! Laters :)