I was supposed to remember to write here two days ago >< July 9, 2010 was Jeremy and my one year anniversary of meeting. We met in Sydney, Australia on July 9, 2009. He had actually seen me on July 8th but he was too damn smooth and we actually met on the 9th. I didn't know he liked me but apparently he did a bunch of things that got my attention in such a subtle way that I completely overlooked it. Any how, he sat next to me on the bus from the Taronga Zoo which is when I officially met him. This blog is a shout out to my baby in Tanzania.
I love you so much and I cannot tell you how happy I am we met. I hope you're having heaps of fun in Africa. I can't wait until you're back so that I can hear all of your stories. I miss you so much and look forward to when I'll see you again in September. I love you I love you I love you!!!!!! XX
Wednesday is his birthday so yea you can expect another blog dedicated to him.... aka more PDA when he's a million miles away. I just love him so much!!!!!! I'll be back on Wednesday to update you on how much I miss my love :P Until then... Laters!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
just so you know
things have been crazy busy!!!! I got back to Ballston and NOTHING happened. So I didn't update this blog for a while. I spent a few days cleaning and what not in my apartment. When I got notification of Jeremy coming to visit from June 30th to July 5th, I was so happy words can't come anywhere close to describing what I felt. I couldn't wait for him to get here. The morning of the 30th I woke up and cleaned one more time just to pass the time until I needed to get Jeremy from the airport. I checked the JFK website and saw that his flight had been cancelled. I FREAKED!!!! I called Jeremy and told him and he thought I was joking. I said "no really, baby, check on it. Your flight is cancelled!" So he called me back about an hour later and said "The words are like stones in my heart but my flight is cancelled." I thought I was going to faint when he said that. He got another flight but it would have taken away an entire day that we would have spent together AND they were flying him into Boston!!!! Jeremy found another flight going out earlier and harassed the airlines about it and got onto the earlier flight. This flight brought him into JFK around 12:40. I went into the baggage claim and saw him walk through the doors. He didn't know I would be in baggage claim so when he saw me he had the BIGGEST smile on his face I have ever seen in my life :D Then we got his bags, hopped in the car, and Jeremy drove us back to Ballston. By the time we got back to the apartment it was 5am and we were both EXHAUSTED. We spent the next 24 hours in bed. Occasionally we got up to go to the bathroom and eat, but that was about it.
On July 2nd we ate lunch for Jeremy's birthday at Sushi Thai (I managed to steal the bill and pay before he could see what it was lol) and hung out around campus for a while. We ate dinner at Hatties for our anniversary of meeting and I was supposed to pay but he gave the waitress his card when she brought the bill which meant that he paid without knowing how much it was. I was mad that he paid for our anniversary dinner since it was my choice to eat there. But thanks for my first and best anniversary ever, baby :) I love you so much!!!!
We spent the next day in the apartment and went to the grocery store in the evening. It's always fun grocery shopping with Jeremy :) We have so much fun doing the simplest things. Jeremy wanted a bag of Sun Chips. Do you have ANY idea how much noise those bags make?! They're soooo annoying! And I made my feelings about those bags very clear to him. Of course, what does he do?? He crinkles the bag so that more noise is constant. After I got him to stop he said, "ok now that I have a migraine, let's put these in a ziploc." I laughed because he admitted that the bag annoyed him more than it did me :P WIN :D
July 4th: I packed up heaps of food for our time in Congress Park. We left the apartment around 6:30 and hung out in the park until the end of the fireworks at like 10. I packed spam musubis, salad, chips, cookies, chocolate coins, and water. I bought ice cream and we ate ice cream cookie sandwiches :) DELICIOUS!!!! We met a family who had an Akita that was only 11 weeks old. Cutest puppy ever!!! We both want one. We talked with each other for 3 hours and just imagined what it would be like to the family we met. I think it's safe to say that we both want that to happen eventually. It was an incredibly romantic evening. Picnic, hours of talking, fireworks, waiting in the parking lot for the traffic to die down, more talking. It was just a perfect 4th of July. I love you so much, baby J!!!
I started school on the 5th of July and had to leave the apartment for a while. When I got back from my class, Jeremy was writing in his journal to me. I left him alone so he could finish that. Then I massaged him and we spent the last few hours together watching Final Destination 2. We watched A LOT of movies while he was here.... I think we got through about a quarter of all the DVDs I own... and that's a lot. I took him to Crossgates and we ate dinner before heading down to JFK. I dropped him off at the airport his co-leads and he were staying at while the kids flew in and then I had to say good bye. I had never felt so much pain before. I know I'm seeing him again in 2 months but it still hurt. I even promised not to wear any make up until he was back in the States. I have currently gone 3 days without make up and I will continue with this until he's back in August. I can't wait to see him in September.
On a happier note.... Class and work started. Class is SO great. I am super interested in this class and I love my Prof as well as the material she's covering. I started to meet some of the kids in my class but they're all 4-5 years younger than me so it's weird. Work is also amazing!! I get paid to help with random projects like pre-or, Skidmazing race, Starr, and video clip editing. Today I got paid to watch Boyz N The Hood for a specific scene to edit. I LOVE MY JOB!!!! I also helped with Skidmazing race. Melito is part of that and I never thought I'd see her again!! Damnit. haha. I promise I'll try not to go so long without updating you again. Baby I miss you already and I hope you have an amzing time in Africa. Thanks for making the trip out here happen. Like you said, "This was time stolen, I wasn't supposed to see you until September." I love you so much and I hope you know that :) For everyone else, Thanks for reading!! Until then.... Laters!
On July 2nd we ate lunch for Jeremy's birthday at Sushi Thai (I managed to steal the bill and pay before he could see what it was lol) and hung out around campus for a while. We ate dinner at Hatties for our anniversary of meeting and I was supposed to pay but he gave the waitress his card when she brought the bill which meant that he paid without knowing how much it was. I was mad that he paid for our anniversary dinner since it was my choice to eat there. But thanks for my first and best anniversary ever, baby :) I love you so much!!!!
We spent the next day in the apartment and went to the grocery store in the evening. It's always fun grocery shopping with Jeremy :) We have so much fun doing the simplest things. Jeremy wanted a bag of Sun Chips. Do you have ANY idea how much noise those bags make?! They're soooo annoying! And I made my feelings about those bags very clear to him. Of course, what does he do?? He crinkles the bag so that more noise is constant. After I got him to stop he said, "ok now that I have a migraine, let's put these in a ziploc." I laughed because he admitted that the bag annoyed him more than it did me :P WIN :D
July 4th: I packed up heaps of food for our time in Congress Park. We left the apartment around 6:30 and hung out in the park until the end of the fireworks at like 10. I packed spam musubis, salad, chips, cookies, chocolate coins, and water. I bought ice cream and we ate ice cream cookie sandwiches :) DELICIOUS!!!! We met a family who had an Akita that was only 11 weeks old. Cutest puppy ever!!! We both want one. We talked with each other for 3 hours and just imagined what it would be like to the family we met. I think it's safe to say that we both want that to happen eventually. It was an incredibly romantic evening. Picnic, hours of talking, fireworks, waiting in the parking lot for the traffic to die down, more talking. It was just a perfect 4th of July. I love you so much, baby J!!!
I started school on the 5th of July and had to leave the apartment for a while. When I got back from my class, Jeremy was writing in his journal to me. I left him alone so he could finish that. Then I massaged him and we spent the last few hours together watching Final Destination 2. We watched A LOT of movies while he was here.... I think we got through about a quarter of all the DVDs I own... and that's a lot. I took him to Crossgates and we ate dinner before heading down to JFK. I dropped him off at the airport his co-leads and he were staying at while the kids flew in and then I had to say good bye. I had never felt so much pain before. I know I'm seeing him again in 2 months but it still hurt. I even promised not to wear any make up until he was back in the States. I have currently gone 3 days without make up and I will continue with this until he's back in August. I can't wait to see him in September.
On a happier note.... Class and work started. Class is SO great. I am super interested in this class and I love my Prof as well as the material she's covering. I started to meet some of the kids in my class but they're all 4-5 years younger than me so it's weird. Work is also amazing!! I get paid to help with random projects like pre-or, Skidmazing race, Starr, and video clip editing. Today I got paid to watch Boyz N The Hood for a specific scene to edit. I LOVE MY JOB!!!! I also helped with Skidmazing race. Melito is part of that and I never thought I'd see her again!! Damnit. haha. I promise I'll try not to go so long without updating you again. Baby I miss you already and I hope you have an amzing time in Africa. Thanks for making the trip out here happen. Like you said, "This was time stolen, I wasn't supposed to see you until September." I love you so much and I hope you know that :) For everyone else, Thanks for reading!! Until then.... Laters!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Back in the 518
So here's an incredibly late update....
June 11: My family gets up to San Diego. My cousins, Uncle Grant, Auntie Sandy (who is Uncle Grant's sister), and Grandma all stay in the Marriott that has TWO floors. My parents stay with Rendi and I at Rendi's place.
June 12: We wake up at 7am to get ready to go meet the rest of the family at the hotel. We get to the hotel at around 8 and then all head out to the San Diego Zoo. We stay there from opening until about 4 or 5. Then we went shopping. I was EXHAUSTED by the end of the day. Jeremy called me on this day :) but I was too tired to really talk. Plus I had NO privacy with my parents in one room and my sister in the other.
June 13: RENDI GRADUATED!!!!! We spent all afternoon in the sun. Then we took family pictures. When I say family pictures I mean pictureSSSSSS. We had about ten different groupings such as kids, grandkids, those who chose, families, etc. And we took multiple pictures of each group.... serious, funny, funnier, etc. Then we went to dinner at a ridiculously high class restaurant and had a BLAST!!!!!
June 14: Another early day going to the San Diego Wild Life Park. I saw my CHEETAHSSSSSS :D I loved it more than I thought I would but I was so grouchy afterwards. I was so F'n tired!!!!! It was hot and I was getting sun burnt. I think we went shopping after that but I don't really remember.
June 15: We head up to LA to go to DISNEYLAND!!!! Then we go to Ontario Mills and eat at Rainforest Cafe. OMG I almost had the same waitress as when I was there for my birthday!!!!! I said hi to her and she was like "omg you look totally familiar!!!" And then she started re-enacting all the highlights from that night :) She wants Jeremy and I to go back and request for her haha. Then we headed back to the Disneyland Hotel before going out to Disneyland that night.
June 16: All day at Disneyland :D Saw FANTASMIC!!!!!!
June 17: Breakfast at Goofy's Kitchen :D :D best breakfast EVERRRRRRRR!!! Then California Adventure Park. Then we saw fireworks!!
June 18: California Adventure Park again.... SAW WORLD OF COLOR!!!!! Sooooo good!!!!!!!!
June 19: Family goes off to the airport. I go back to SD with Rendi. I head off the airport.... end of family trip :(
June 20: I'm back in Toga and running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to settle in. I managed to unpack and take inventory of everything I needed, i.e. pots, pans, dishes, etc.
June 21: GROCERY SHOPPING!!!!!! I was hungry when I left the apartment so I bought a lot of foods that I hope I still have a craving for tomorrow haha. That's pretty much it for now... The apartment is good but not quite home. I think I'm giving blood tomorrow. I'm definitely getting braces on Wednesday and a week from Wednesday is when JEREMY COMES TO VISIT!!!!!!!!!! I'm soooooooooooo excited and I can't wait to see him. I thought we would have to wait until September to see each other again but NOPE!!!!! I get to see him in a little over a week :D :D :D :D OMG I'M SO EXCITED !!!!!!!!!!! I'll definitely update you before he comes but I'm beat now so I'm gonna head off to bed... Until then... Laters!
June 11: My family gets up to San Diego. My cousins, Uncle Grant, Auntie Sandy (who is Uncle Grant's sister), and Grandma all stay in the Marriott that has TWO floors. My parents stay with Rendi and I at Rendi's place.
June 12: We wake up at 7am to get ready to go meet the rest of the family at the hotel. We get to the hotel at around 8 and then all head out to the San Diego Zoo. We stay there from opening until about 4 or 5. Then we went shopping. I was EXHAUSTED by the end of the day. Jeremy called me on this day :) but I was too tired to really talk. Plus I had NO privacy with my parents in one room and my sister in the other.
June 13: RENDI GRADUATED!!!!! We spent all afternoon in the sun. Then we took family pictures. When I say family pictures I mean pictureSSSSSS. We had about ten different groupings such as kids, grandkids, those who chose, families, etc. And we took multiple pictures of each group.... serious, funny, funnier, etc. Then we went to dinner at a ridiculously high class restaurant and had a BLAST!!!!!
June 14: Another early day going to the San Diego Wild Life Park. I saw my CHEETAHSSSSSS :D I loved it more than I thought I would but I was so grouchy afterwards. I was so F'n tired!!!!! It was hot and I was getting sun burnt. I think we went shopping after that but I don't really remember.
June 15: We head up to LA to go to DISNEYLAND!!!! Then we go to Ontario Mills and eat at Rainforest Cafe. OMG I almost had the same waitress as when I was there for my birthday!!!!! I said hi to her and she was like "omg you look totally familiar!!!" And then she started re-enacting all the highlights from that night :) She wants Jeremy and I to go back and request for her haha. Then we headed back to the Disneyland Hotel before going out to Disneyland that night.
June 16: All day at Disneyland :D Saw FANTASMIC!!!!!!
June 17: Breakfast at Goofy's Kitchen :D :D best breakfast EVERRRRRRRR!!! Then California Adventure Park. Then we saw fireworks!!
June 18: California Adventure Park again.... SAW WORLD OF COLOR!!!!! Sooooo good!!!!!!!!
June 19: Family goes off to the airport. I go back to SD with Rendi. I head off the airport.... end of family trip :(
June 20: I'm back in Toga and running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to settle in. I managed to unpack and take inventory of everything I needed, i.e. pots, pans, dishes, etc.
June 21: GROCERY SHOPPING!!!!!! I was hungry when I left the apartment so I bought a lot of foods that I hope I still have a craving for tomorrow haha. That's pretty much it for now... The apartment is good but not quite home. I think I'm giving blood tomorrow. I'm definitely getting braces on Wednesday and a week from Wednesday is when JEREMY COMES TO VISIT!!!!!!!!!! I'm soooooooooooo excited and I can't wait to see him. I thought we would have to wait until September to see each other again but NOPE!!!!! I get to see him in a little over a week :D :D :D :D OMG I'M SO EXCITED !!!!!!!!!!! I'll definitely update you before he comes but I'm beat now so I'm gonna head off to bed... Until then... Laters!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
I'm officially the worst gf EVER
I made my boyfriend worry about me. I don't mean worry because I'm sick, or because I'm depressed. I mean worry that he can't trust me. He's gone through a lot with his ex-gf. She was terrible to him, put him through hell and back, and I knew that from the beginning. I worked extremely hard to make sure that he knew he could trust me. I trusted myself not to become her. All it took was one freak out sesh and it all went down hill from there. Here's the basic story from my point... it might be a little different from his side because he just got the texts from me.
I woke up multiple times from horrible dreams. I was exhausted and in a lot of pain. My arms felt like jelly, my back was screaming, and my heart felt like someone had put cage around it and there were spikes getting closer and closer to it with every second. He texted me "fml... just going to bed... still thinking of u... always thinking of u... sleep well my angle" at like 4am. Then at 9 he sent "*angel :) good morning babe, how'd u sleep?" I woke up to that text and flipped sh*t. I was irritated and angry and I didn't know why. I responded, "Terrible. this text woke me up from yet another bad dream. I had 4 last night and woke up 4 times. I give up on sleeping already." His response made me angrier: "o hun, I'm sorry :(" I don't know why I was so angry. All I knew was that I was. I didn't want to take it out on him so I said I wouldn't be responding much to his texts because I was grouchy (understatement of the century). I was so upset I was contemplating ripping my skin off my arm out of frustration.... just for entertainment. Luckily I didn't. I studied for GRE's instead. I didn't get out of bed until 11 and then went back to bed at 12 and then moved to the couch around 2. I watched TV and read a little and EVERYTHING I did had a cheating theme. So I freaked. I was already at a high emotional state. I started seeing myself turning into his ex-gf. I couldn't believe myself. How can I expect him to trust me if I couldn't even trust myself?! So as I'm freaking out I'm sending him beyond moronic texts. He's sending me texts like "babe I love u" and "u ok?" and "I wish I could be there to cook u dinner..." Everything I need to feel better. But no, I have to go and be stupid by telling him about the whole not being able to trust myself issue. How much more stupid can I get?! Then I realize I'm a few days away from my period which is why I'm all hormonal. But I didn't tell him that. I just said that I figured out why I'm being crazy and the crazy should go away in a couple of days and I hope he still loves me in a couple days.... now that I read that out of context... It sounds like I cheated on him and the other guy will be gone in a couple days and I hope he can forgive me for that. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID?!?!?!?! He didn't know I was PMSing.... how could he?? I had just had my period last month when I was with him. Of course he wouldn't think about that as a possibility... *SLAP ACROSS THE FACE*
Here's where it gets even worse. When I'm in pain I try to distract myself from the cause of the pain. Missing him is what's causing me pain. So I tried to get him out of my head but I couldn't. He's the soul focus of all my energy and free time. But I didn't explain that to him. I just said I can't get you out of my head. He asked " are u trying to..." FML I just dug my grave and laid down in it still alive. So I try to explain it to him but there was a lot of missing details that I realized I hadn't told him. His response (100% appropriate) was "idk how to take this..." I basically let him watch me push someone off the edge of a cliff and then told him to stand at the edge of the same cliff expecting him to trust that I wouldn't push him off too. He's not an idiot. Idk how I could've been so incredibly stupid. I didn't want him to be mad at me so I continued to text him trying to explain the situation and why everything was so messed up. But then he responded that he wasn't mad, he was afraid of me. I'm not gonna lie, at this point I was afraid of myself too. I didn't know who I had become. I didn't recognize myself. I have never told a bf I loved him and felt it the way I feel it for him. I had never missed someone so bad it hurt. I had never ever in my life doubted myself and my judgment to question whether I would cheat on him. I've always felt secure about my relationships. I've never been the lovey dovey mushy gf who constantly said I love you, I miss you. I never let myself get attached like that. I haven't ever depended on someone else for my happiness the way I depend on him. I was scared of who I had become. I knew that the more I fell for him, the harder it would be for me to feel comfortable with the new emotions I was feeling. He didn't know this. He didn't understand why I was fighting it.
I listened to my heart. It told me I was ready. The only way I was going to be able to get used to it was by dealing with it. Yes, it was scary. Yes, I was unsure of how I felt about it. No, I'm not running anymore. I'm facing this fear head on with him by my side. I'm tired of hiding from myself. I don't know who I am anymore because I refused in the past to know who I could become. I love him. Why do I feel the need to hide from that? I'm scared. But isn't that half the fun of an adventure? The uncertainty, the risks, the challenge... He is the greatest adventure I have set off on and I don't expect it to end any time soon. This is the adventure I have been looking for since I had my first crush. I've been in an out of so many relationships looking for someone who would give me this thrill, this fear, this love.
If you're reading this, J3, I want you to know... I know I scared you last night. Hell, I scared myself. But now, I've never been more sure of myself. I hope you can find it in your heart to trust me again. I'm not cheating on you. I will never cheat on you. I'm not going anywhere without you. I'm not fighting these feelings anymore. My name had never sounded so foreign until you said it last night. It was like we were strangers again. Each time you said it, I hurt. I felt like I let you down. I felt like I lied to you. I felt like you were ready to walk away with every stupid thing I was saying. I want to prove to you that I'm here to stay. I want to prove to you that I'm not Her. I want you to love me forever. I want to love you forever. It's you and me, baby. Forever.
Until then... Laters.
I woke up multiple times from horrible dreams. I was exhausted and in a lot of pain. My arms felt like jelly, my back was screaming, and my heart felt like someone had put cage around it and there were spikes getting closer and closer to it with every second. He texted me "fml... just going to bed... still thinking of u... always thinking of u... sleep well my angle" at like 4am. Then at 9 he sent "*angel :) good morning babe, how'd u sleep?" I woke up to that text and flipped sh*t. I was irritated and angry and I didn't know why. I responded, "Terrible. this text woke me up from yet another bad dream. I had 4 last night and woke up 4 times. I give up on sleeping already." His response made me angrier: "o hun, I'm sorry :(" I don't know why I was so angry. All I knew was that I was. I didn't want to take it out on him so I said I wouldn't be responding much to his texts because I was grouchy (understatement of the century). I was so upset I was contemplating ripping my skin off my arm out of frustration.... just for entertainment. Luckily I didn't. I studied for GRE's instead. I didn't get out of bed until 11 and then went back to bed at 12 and then moved to the couch around 2. I watched TV and read a little and EVERYTHING I did had a cheating theme. So I freaked. I was already at a high emotional state. I started seeing myself turning into his ex-gf. I couldn't believe myself. How can I expect him to trust me if I couldn't even trust myself?! So as I'm freaking out I'm sending him beyond moronic texts. He's sending me texts like "babe I love u" and "u ok?" and "I wish I could be there to cook u dinner..." Everything I need to feel better. But no, I have to go and be stupid by telling him about the whole not being able to trust myself issue. How much more stupid can I get?! Then I realize I'm a few days away from my period which is why I'm all hormonal. But I didn't tell him that. I just said that I figured out why I'm being crazy and the crazy should go away in a couple of days and I hope he still loves me in a couple days.... now that I read that out of context... It sounds like I cheated on him and the other guy will be gone in a couple days and I hope he can forgive me for that. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID?!?!?!?! He didn't know I was PMSing.... how could he?? I had just had my period last month when I was with him. Of course he wouldn't think about that as a possibility... *SLAP ACROSS THE FACE*
Here's where it gets even worse. When I'm in pain I try to distract myself from the cause of the pain. Missing him is what's causing me pain. So I tried to get him out of my head but I couldn't. He's the soul focus of all my energy and free time. But I didn't explain that to him. I just said I can't get you out of my head. He asked " are u trying to..." FML I just dug my grave and laid down in it still alive. So I try to explain it to him but there was a lot of missing details that I realized I hadn't told him. His response (100% appropriate) was "idk how to take this..." I basically let him watch me push someone off the edge of a cliff and then told him to stand at the edge of the same cliff expecting him to trust that I wouldn't push him off too. He's not an idiot. Idk how I could've been so incredibly stupid. I didn't want him to be mad at me so I continued to text him trying to explain the situation and why everything was so messed up. But then he responded that he wasn't mad, he was afraid of me. I'm not gonna lie, at this point I was afraid of myself too. I didn't know who I had become. I didn't recognize myself. I have never told a bf I loved him and felt it the way I feel it for him. I had never missed someone so bad it hurt. I had never ever in my life doubted myself and my judgment to question whether I would cheat on him. I've always felt secure about my relationships. I've never been the lovey dovey mushy gf who constantly said I love you, I miss you. I never let myself get attached like that. I haven't ever depended on someone else for my happiness the way I depend on him. I was scared of who I had become. I knew that the more I fell for him, the harder it would be for me to feel comfortable with the new emotions I was feeling. He didn't know this. He didn't understand why I was fighting it.
I listened to my heart. It told me I was ready. The only way I was going to be able to get used to it was by dealing with it. Yes, it was scary. Yes, I was unsure of how I felt about it. No, I'm not running anymore. I'm facing this fear head on with him by my side. I'm tired of hiding from myself. I don't know who I am anymore because I refused in the past to know who I could become. I love him. Why do I feel the need to hide from that? I'm scared. But isn't that half the fun of an adventure? The uncertainty, the risks, the challenge... He is the greatest adventure I have set off on and I don't expect it to end any time soon. This is the adventure I have been looking for since I had my first crush. I've been in an out of so many relationships looking for someone who would give me this thrill, this fear, this love.
If you're reading this, J3, I want you to know... I know I scared you last night. Hell, I scared myself. But now, I've never been more sure of myself. I hope you can find it in your heart to trust me again. I'm not cheating on you. I will never cheat on you. I'm not going anywhere without you. I'm not fighting these feelings anymore. My name had never sounded so foreign until you said it last night. It was like we were strangers again. Each time you said it, I hurt. I felt like I let you down. I felt like I lied to you. I felt like you were ready to walk away with every stupid thing I was saying. I want to prove to you that I'm here to stay. I want to prove to you that I'm not Her. I want you to love me forever. I want to love you forever. It's you and me, baby. Forever.
Until then... Laters.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Am I the ONLY one?!
I feel so incredibly alone right now. I think I'm the only one who worries about this crap as much as I do. I got my grades for Spring 2010...
Social Stats (4 credits):B+
Social Theory (4 credits):B+
Intro to Anthro (4 credits): A-
Intro to Teaching (3 credits): A-
Jazz Theater (2 credits): A
Riding (1 credit): A
I was literally percentage points away from an A- in both the Stats and Theory classes. I'm pretty sure I had an 89 and 88 respectfully.... FML!!!!! I was so close to my goal/new years resolution. This sucks!!! Now I'm stuck with a 3.5 semester GPA and a 3.3 CGPA. THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!! That's a freakin B+ average!!! I should have an A- average!!!!!!!!!! UGHHHHHHH.... I calculated my potential GPA for graduation and realized that the highest GPA I can get with a perfect report card would be a 3.46.... aka FORGET IT!! I'm stuck at a 3.3 forever. It's official. There's no hope for me. I will never be the grade getter that I thought I would be as a freshman in high school. I was 0.03 away from graduating with honors in high school and now I'm a good 0.4 away. It just keeps getting further and further away. I am living proof of the whole as you get older your brain is the first to go thing. I'm hopeless!
Moving on: I bought GRE study aids today. I'll be working on improving my vocab from now until October. Not to mention remembering how to do basic math and logic things. Man it's been a while. I'm really nervous about this. I really want to get better grades and do well on the GRE's so that I can be accepted to UPS for the M.Ed. in Counseling program. If I don't get in, I have NO CLUE what I'm going to do. I know I wanna head that direction geographically because that's where J3 will be and I can't stand to be apart from him for more than the time we're already going to be. I mean really, there's all of this year (SENIOR YEAR BABY!!) and then 6-8 months after that for the Disney College Program.... damn that's a long time :/ I really wish there was a way for me to do everything all at once. I just wanna know where I'm going to end up 5 years from now. I hate not knowing. What's even worse is I hate preparing for something that I don't know if it's even possible for me to go that route. It's like eating your vegetables when you don't know if dessert is an option. Yes I did just compare preparation for the future to vegetables and the outcome to be dessert.... I still have issues with vegetables but hey that's what I have J3 for :) He makes sure I eat my vegetables.... as well as eat multiple meals a day :P
But back to my subject question... AM I THE ONLY ONE?! Am I just putting too much emphasis on this whole process? Am I making my life a lot more stressful than it needs to be? Am I the only one who gets this antsy about not knowing? If anyone has any advice for how to chill out about this I would LOVE to hear it. I look forward to hearing from you... and I'll keep you updated about everything else that goes on in my ever-thinking brain. It's funny how when I was with J3 I would NEVER be this unsure or antsy about what would happen in the future. I felt so much more sure about us and about life. But now that I have more time alone I realize that I think and freak out about the future a lot more than I want to. Any thoughts?? Until then... Laters
Social Stats (4 credits):B+
Social Theory (4 credits):B+
Intro to Anthro (4 credits): A-
Intro to Teaching (3 credits): A-
Jazz Theater (2 credits): A
Riding (1 credit): A
I was literally percentage points away from an A- in both the Stats and Theory classes. I'm pretty sure I had an 89 and 88 respectfully.... FML!!!!! I was so close to my goal/new years resolution. This sucks!!! Now I'm stuck with a 3.5 semester GPA and a 3.3 CGPA. THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!! That's a freakin B+ average!!! I should have an A- average!!!!!!!!!! UGHHHHHHH.... I calculated my potential GPA for graduation and realized that the highest GPA I can get with a perfect report card would be a 3.46.... aka FORGET IT!! I'm stuck at a 3.3 forever. It's official. There's no hope for me. I will never be the grade getter that I thought I would be as a freshman in high school. I was 0.03 away from graduating with honors in high school and now I'm a good 0.4 away. It just keeps getting further and further away. I am living proof of the whole as you get older your brain is the first to go thing. I'm hopeless!
Moving on: I bought GRE study aids today. I'll be working on improving my vocab from now until October. Not to mention remembering how to do basic math and logic things. Man it's been a while. I'm really nervous about this. I really want to get better grades and do well on the GRE's so that I can be accepted to UPS for the M.Ed. in Counseling program. If I don't get in, I have NO CLUE what I'm going to do. I know I wanna head that direction geographically because that's where J3 will be and I can't stand to be apart from him for more than the time we're already going to be. I mean really, there's all of this year (SENIOR YEAR BABY!!) and then 6-8 months after that for the Disney College Program.... damn that's a long time :/ I really wish there was a way for me to do everything all at once. I just wanna know where I'm going to end up 5 years from now. I hate not knowing. What's even worse is I hate preparing for something that I don't know if it's even possible for me to go that route. It's like eating your vegetables when you don't know if dessert is an option. Yes I did just compare preparation for the future to vegetables and the outcome to be dessert.... I still have issues with vegetables but hey that's what I have J3 for :) He makes sure I eat my vegetables.... as well as eat multiple meals a day :P
But back to my subject question... AM I THE ONLY ONE?! Am I just putting too much emphasis on this whole process? Am I making my life a lot more stressful than it needs to be? Am I the only one who gets this antsy about not knowing? If anyone has any advice for how to chill out about this I would LOVE to hear it. I look forward to hearing from you... and I'll keep you updated about everything else that goes on in my ever-thinking brain. It's funny how when I was with J3 I would NEVER be this unsure or antsy about what would happen in the future. I felt so much more sure about us and about life. But now that I have more time alone I realize that I think and freak out about the future a lot more than I want to. Any thoughts?? Until then... Laters
Friday, May 28, 2010
The perfect week
I fear it may have been way too long since I last updated you about my adventure through the month. I have a good reason though, I swear. Let's start from the beginning.
Can you imagine meeting someone and spending less than 72 hours in the same area as them? Add in the fact that you never talked to that person for more than 3 hours and every time you interacted with one another it was with five or six other people at the very least. Did I mention you're both in a foreign country and won't be on the same side of that country for long? How about we throw the twist that one of you is from the middle of the Pacific Ocean going to school in New York (6000 miles apart) and the other person is from the west coast and going to school on the west coast, so at any given time you are at least 3000 miles apart? Would you ever expect those two people to make the perfect couple with more love shared in one week than most people feel in a month? Well... Let me introduce you to my boyfriend Jeremy and myself. This is our situation. We met in Sydney, Australia in July 2009. He was studying abroad in Perth (I think), Western Australia and I was in Canberra, New South Wales. I was attracted to him physically and wanted to get to know him better but never got the chance while we were in Sydney together. He was always with a million other people, most girls, so I pegged him for an arrogant man whore. Problem is, that's the type of guy I'm attracted to (go figure right??). So I took a chance and handed him a piece of paper with my contact info for both Australia and back home. Well we kept in touch for a pretty solid two weeks or so, calling each other constantly. Then I hit reality and said to myself, "What are you doing? You're going to get hurt. Don't fall for someone who will remain 3000 miles away from you at all times." Ironic how even in Australia he chose west coast over east coast and I chose the opposite :/ Anyway... So I stopped calling him and talking to him and pretty much moved on.
Fast forward to March 6th:
He RANDOMLY writes BOO on my facebook wall. I get really excited because I wanted to reconnect with him. I avoided talking too intimately with him because I was still under the impression that I would not be in the same geographic region as him... EVER. Well, I hit boyfriend trouble and he's there to talk to me about it. I fall for him all over again. He's no longer a friend. He has become SO much more. I told him about my time line--> by 24 years old I will be with the one I want to marry, 26 minimum will be when he can propose to me, 29 is when kids come. So after hearing this, we had made a pact that if we were still single by the time he had turned 26 (25 for me) we would give each other a chance (I thought of it as a joke but his infamous words of "you think I'm joking" caught my attention). We talked about past girl/boyfriend problems and got to seriously talking like we had a chance to get together. I asked if he was going to be in the SoCal area from June 11th until the 20th. He said no and explained that he was graduating and leaving June 1st or 2nd. I IMMEDIATELY propose that I come up and visit him before he leaves since I could stay with my sister the rest of the time until my family flew up. He jumps at the idea and it takes off. I had every intention of just keeping things as friends since basically that's all we were at that time. We started talking more and more every day until finally we came to the conclusion of "We should just get together already." Problem is, you can't start something with someone who's 3000 miles away, you have never spent quality time together, and you don't know what they look like without the computer screen between you two. So we waited. Our love grew rapidly and I was feeling overwhelmed with it all. I let it take me to where ever it wanted to take me. I didn't fight it, I didn't think while everything was happening, and I was there for him as much as I could be.
Jump ahead 5 spaces and fly to California May 22nd:
I arrived at my sister's house on the evening of the 22nd. I slept that night with dreams of Jeremy picking me up the next day. I wake up on the morning of the 23rd to a text that says "My car won't start." I freak the hell out. I traveled well over 9000 miles in the last two weeks to see him, I was damn sure that I was going to see him. He sends me another text saying "JK. :) sorry I had to...Don't hate me too much." I was mad.... not gonna lie. But two hours later he arrived and I was over it. It was so great to hug him for the first time. He looked like a fresh of breath air stepping outside of his car. He walked over to my sister's unit with us and helped me carry my things to his car. Then I said bye to my sister and off we went to Redlands.
Starting together, ending together:
Sunday...We arrive at his place and kind of just relax for a little while. We cuddle and realize how comfortable we feel with one another. It was like he was my missing puzzle piece that I just fit perfectly into when he wrapped his arms around me. We hung out for a little while and then made dinner together. I had so much fun just keeping it simple with him. He told me what he needed me to do and I would do it and we would snack on the foods while we cooked. It was the perfect first date.
Monday...We woke up and he put a notebook on my lap. Then he handed me a box with a bunch of puzzle pieces in it. He had me close my eyes while he flipped them face down and spread them out. He put the Jeopardy thinking song on while I put the puzzle together face down. Then he flipped it over and it said "Will you be mine? Can I call you my girlfriend?" Then there were three boxes that said yes no maybe. The no and maybe boxes and words were crossed out so I could only check yes :) It was the official asking that I laughed and smiled and said "Yes! Of course!" Then we got up and cooked breakfast (which was delicious btw. He's an amazing cook :D ). We had fruit and french toast. I can't remember if there was more but I remember it was delicious. We spun poi and glowsticks for a while but I can't remember what else we did because everything just felt so surreal. I remember eating the Pizookie though!! It's this giant cookie cut like a pizza served with ice cream and it is simply divine!! I couldn't believe how amazing it was. We were with a bunch of Jeremy's friends who I came to love instantly. They were so much fun. I wish we had more time to hang out but they were mostly seniors and prepping for graduation and what not.... oh well. FACEBOOK!!! haha
Tuesday...MY 21st BIRTHDAY!!!!! We woke up and cooked breakfast. Then we hung out just being together. It was peaceful and wonderful, like nothing else existed but us and he focused all his attention on me so I felt like the only one who mattered. Around 4 he took me to Ontario Mills to get my birthday present :) A Build-a-bear named Brazzum J.M. we kept arguing about whether out kids' names would be Muroda or Johnson so Brazzum being our love child is Johnson Muroda or J.M. for short :) His foot says Bearemy which reminds me of Jeremy and that's why I chose him. Then I stuffed him with love and we walked back to the car to drop him off. Then we went off to dinner and he wouldn't tell me where we were going. It turns out he was taking me to a restaurant inside the mall! He blocked my vision and guided me to the restaurant. I kept giggling the whole time because I wanted to see where he was taking me but he wouldn't let me and I kept shouting "This isn't fair!! I wanna know!!" Finally he uncovers my eyes and we're in front of RAINFOREST CAFE!! I was so excited!!! It's my favorite restaurant in the whole world. We order and chill for a while there and all of a sudden our waitress comes up and says happy birthday, handing me a drink along with my ID. I was in total shock! I didn't know that Jeremy snaked my ID after I showed it to him let alone talked to the waitress about getting me a drink as a surprise and getting her the ID.... it was just all so surprising!!! I couldn't believe that I was having the greatest birthday with the greatest boyfriend in the world. After that he took me to a really dark place on a mountain and we star gazed for a while. He took out smirnoff ice (my favorite) and chocolate covered strawberries. He basically gave me the best night of my life. But it wasn't over yet.... Later we headed out with more of his friends to a bar and I got my first legal drink in a bar. Then back to Marshall's we went to drink some more. I ended up getting sick and Jeremy took care of me. I wasn't aware how safe I could feel in a strange place in his arms.
Wednesday...I woke up not too hung over surprisingly. Jeremy woke up saying "ohhhhh that's a hang over." We hung out and it took us a while to get out of bed. Finally we woke up and ate some breakfast/lunch. Then we headed out to La Quinta. I met Jeremy's father first. He was a blast. I loved talking to him. Jeremy's sister and mother walked in after we did and I held a few conversations with them. Then we ate dinner. I watched Jessica and Jeremy fire dance a little which was AMAZING!! Then the three of us went to the hot tub to hang out. Soon after we passed out.
Thursday... Chilled in La Quinta and ate SOOOO much. It was a pretty lazy day :) those are the best. Then after dinner Jeremy and I left since it was the last day I was with him. We talked about everything from our past to the present and then continued to talk about the future we would share. I had a good cry because I couldn't stand the thought of being apart from him after spending the most amazing week together. It will be weird to wake up in a bed alone again. It'll be lonely but I know that I can get through it if I keep telling myself that I will see him in 3 and a half short months. Let the count down begin.
Friday...It took a while for him to get up. I was up long before he was. When he finally woke up it was well past 9. We snuggled for a little and then ate breakfast. Then he drove me back to San Diego. We held each other for the last time out by his car. I cried again and he told me he loved me. I told him to call me as soon as he finds out when he'll be in NY to visit me. He has a full summer planned ahead and I can't wait until I hear all about it. When he left I walked back into the apartment and looked around. It was weird walking into an empty apartment and realizing that I would be waking up alone and living through the summer pretty much alone as well. I'm gonna miss you so much babe. Just remember I love you and will be waiting with open arms for you when you get back.
This month has been a hell of an adventure. From NY to Hawaii to Cali. I met my match and he showed me a crazy amazing time. He is everything I want and need and I love him so much. I can't wait until our next adventure together. We shall see where we go from here. That's it for now. Until then... Laters!
Can you imagine meeting someone and spending less than 72 hours in the same area as them? Add in the fact that you never talked to that person for more than 3 hours and every time you interacted with one another it was with five or six other people at the very least. Did I mention you're both in a foreign country and won't be on the same side of that country for long? How about we throw the twist that one of you is from the middle of the Pacific Ocean going to school in New York (6000 miles apart) and the other person is from the west coast and going to school on the west coast, so at any given time you are at least 3000 miles apart? Would you ever expect those two people to make the perfect couple with more love shared in one week than most people feel in a month? Well... Let me introduce you to my boyfriend Jeremy and myself. This is our situation. We met in Sydney, Australia in July 2009. He was studying abroad in Perth (I think), Western Australia and I was in Canberra, New South Wales. I was attracted to him physically and wanted to get to know him better but never got the chance while we were in Sydney together. He was always with a million other people, most girls, so I pegged him for an arrogant man whore. Problem is, that's the type of guy I'm attracted to (go figure right??). So I took a chance and handed him a piece of paper with my contact info for both Australia and back home. Well we kept in touch for a pretty solid two weeks or so, calling each other constantly. Then I hit reality and said to myself, "What are you doing? You're going to get hurt. Don't fall for someone who will remain 3000 miles away from you at all times." Ironic how even in Australia he chose west coast over east coast and I chose the opposite :/ Anyway... So I stopped calling him and talking to him and pretty much moved on.
Fast forward to March 6th:
He RANDOMLY writes BOO on my facebook wall. I get really excited because I wanted to reconnect with him. I avoided talking too intimately with him because I was still under the impression that I would not be in the same geographic region as him... EVER. Well, I hit boyfriend trouble and he's there to talk to me about it. I fall for him all over again. He's no longer a friend. He has become SO much more. I told him about my time line--> by 24 years old I will be with the one I want to marry, 26 minimum will be when he can propose to me, 29 is when kids come. So after hearing this, we had made a pact that if we were still single by the time he had turned 26 (25 for me) we would give each other a chance (I thought of it as a joke but his infamous words of "you think I'm joking" caught my attention). We talked about past girl/boyfriend problems and got to seriously talking like we had a chance to get together. I asked if he was going to be in the SoCal area from June 11th until the 20th. He said no and explained that he was graduating and leaving June 1st or 2nd. I IMMEDIATELY propose that I come up and visit him before he leaves since I could stay with my sister the rest of the time until my family flew up. He jumps at the idea and it takes off. I had every intention of just keeping things as friends since basically that's all we were at that time. We started talking more and more every day until finally we came to the conclusion of "We should just get together already." Problem is, you can't start something with someone who's 3000 miles away, you have never spent quality time together, and you don't know what they look like without the computer screen between you two. So we waited. Our love grew rapidly and I was feeling overwhelmed with it all. I let it take me to where ever it wanted to take me. I didn't fight it, I didn't think while everything was happening, and I was there for him as much as I could be.
Jump ahead 5 spaces and fly to California May 22nd:
I arrived at my sister's house on the evening of the 22nd. I slept that night with dreams of Jeremy picking me up the next day. I wake up on the morning of the 23rd to a text that says "My car won't start." I freak the hell out. I traveled well over 9000 miles in the last two weeks to see him, I was damn sure that I was going to see him. He sends me another text saying "JK. :) sorry I had to...Don't hate me too much." I was mad.... not gonna lie. But two hours later he arrived and I was over it. It was so great to hug him for the first time. He looked like a fresh of breath air stepping outside of his car. He walked over to my sister's unit with us and helped me carry my things to his car. Then I said bye to my sister and off we went to Redlands.
Starting together, ending together:
Sunday...We arrive at his place and kind of just relax for a little while. We cuddle and realize how comfortable we feel with one another. It was like he was my missing puzzle piece that I just fit perfectly into when he wrapped his arms around me. We hung out for a little while and then made dinner together. I had so much fun just keeping it simple with him. He told me what he needed me to do and I would do it and we would snack on the foods while we cooked. It was the perfect first date.
Monday...We woke up and he put a notebook on my lap. Then he handed me a box with a bunch of puzzle pieces in it. He had me close my eyes while he flipped them face down and spread them out. He put the Jeopardy thinking song on while I put the puzzle together face down. Then he flipped it over and it said "Will you be mine? Can I call you my girlfriend?" Then there were three boxes that said yes no maybe. The no and maybe boxes and words were crossed out so I could only check yes :) It was the official asking that I laughed and smiled and said "Yes! Of course!" Then we got up and cooked breakfast (which was delicious btw. He's an amazing cook :D ). We had fruit and french toast. I can't remember if there was more but I remember it was delicious. We spun poi and glowsticks for a while but I can't remember what else we did because everything just felt so surreal. I remember eating the Pizookie though!! It's this giant cookie cut like a pizza served with ice cream and it is simply divine!! I couldn't believe how amazing it was. We were with a bunch of Jeremy's friends who I came to love instantly. They were so much fun. I wish we had more time to hang out but they were mostly seniors and prepping for graduation and what not.... oh well. FACEBOOK!!! haha
Tuesday...MY 21st BIRTHDAY!!!!! We woke up and cooked breakfast. Then we hung out just being together. It was peaceful and wonderful, like nothing else existed but us and he focused all his attention on me so I felt like the only one who mattered. Around 4 he took me to Ontario Mills to get my birthday present :) A Build-a-bear named Brazzum J.M. we kept arguing about whether out kids' names would be Muroda or Johnson so Brazzum being our love child is Johnson Muroda or J.M. for short :) His foot says Bearemy which reminds me of Jeremy and that's why I chose him. Then I stuffed him with love and we walked back to the car to drop him off. Then we went off to dinner and he wouldn't tell me where we were going. It turns out he was taking me to a restaurant inside the mall! He blocked my vision and guided me to the restaurant. I kept giggling the whole time because I wanted to see where he was taking me but he wouldn't let me and I kept shouting "This isn't fair!! I wanna know!!" Finally he uncovers my eyes and we're in front of RAINFOREST CAFE!! I was so excited!!! It's my favorite restaurant in the whole world. We order and chill for a while there and all of a sudden our waitress comes up and says happy birthday, handing me a drink along with my ID. I was in total shock! I didn't know that Jeremy snaked my ID after I showed it to him let alone talked to the waitress about getting me a drink as a surprise and getting her the ID.... it was just all so surprising!!! I couldn't believe that I was having the greatest birthday with the greatest boyfriend in the world. After that he took me to a really dark place on a mountain and we star gazed for a while. He took out smirnoff ice (my favorite) and chocolate covered strawberries. He basically gave me the best night of my life. But it wasn't over yet.... Later we headed out with more of his friends to a bar and I got my first legal drink in a bar. Then back to Marshall's we went to drink some more. I ended up getting sick and Jeremy took care of me. I wasn't aware how safe I could feel in a strange place in his arms.
Wednesday...I woke up not too hung over surprisingly. Jeremy woke up saying "ohhhhh that's a hang over." We hung out and it took us a while to get out of bed. Finally we woke up and ate some breakfast/lunch. Then we headed out to La Quinta. I met Jeremy's father first. He was a blast. I loved talking to him. Jeremy's sister and mother walked in after we did and I held a few conversations with them. Then we ate dinner. I watched Jessica and Jeremy fire dance a little which was AMAZING!! Then the three of us went to the hot tub to hang out. Soon after we passed out.
Thursday... Chilled in La Quinta and ate SOOOO much. It was a pretty lazy day :) those are the best. Then after dinner Jeremy and I left since it was the last day I was with him. We talked about everything from our past to the present and then continued to talk about the future we would share. I had a good cry because I couldn't stand the thought of being apart from him after spending the most amazing week together. It will be weird to wake up in a bed alone again. It'll be lonely but I know that I can get through it if I keep telling myself that I will see him in 3 and a half short months. Let the count down begin.
Friday...It took a while for him to get up. I was up long before he was. When he finally woke up it was well past 9. We snuggled for a little and then ate breakfast. Then he drove me back to San Diego. We held each other for the last time out by his car. I cried again and he told me he loved me. I told him to call me as soon as he finds out when he'll be in NY to visit me. He has a full summer planned ahead and I can't wait until I hear all about it. When he left I walked back into the apartment and looked around. It was weird walking into an empty apartment and realizing that I would be waking up alone and living through the summer pretty much alone as well. I'm gonna miss you so much babe. Just remember I love you and will be waiting with open arms for you when you get back.
This month has been a hell of an adventure. From NY to Hawaii to Cali. I met my match and he showed me a crazy amazing time. He is everything I want and need and I love him so much. I can't wait until our next adventure together. We shall see where we go from here. That's it for now. Until then... Laters!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
May finally arrives
*sigh* this month has finally come which means that school is almost done. I have been talking to Jeremy almost every night for the last few weeks and although slightly sleep deprived, I am loving my life. My classes ended on May 4th. My Theory paper is done and turned in. My anthro take home exam has been turned in. Yesterday I had a final review for stats. There were three of us there. I got a lot of questions answered and I absolutely loved the fact that I knew a majority of what I was talking about. It was like I actually knew this stuff!!! haha. My exam is tomorrow morning and after that exam I will be done with junior year. How scary is that?! I'll be a SENIOR!!!!!! After my exam I am going to hang out and finish packing. Then I'm going to drop off more stuff at the apartment and at night I will head out to the movies with Jen, probably Lei, and Tal (I think). I think after that we are going to play board games like Blokus, Life, and Taboo. On Friday Jen and I are getting our nails done :) I'm so excited! I've wanted to get them done since they started growing back and I went bowling and ended up breaking all of them.
My family is really excited to have me home for a week. I'm excited to see my family but not so much to be home. Not sure why but Hawaii just doesn't feel like home again. I've been flipping back and forth with that emotion. I used to hate it and then I loved it and now I hate it again... What's going on?? I'll have the best of both worlds though when they go to see Rendi GRADUATE in Cali. We'll be a family in Cali :) My two favorite things in the world: family and the mainland lol. But even more than seeing my family I'm EXTREMELY excited to see Jeremy.... FINALLY!!!!
I've been counting down the days with him since 40+ days ago. I have been looking forward to seeing him sooooo much. Here are some of our highlights...
*I wrote him a letter confessing my love for him making me feel incredibly vulnerable.
*He wrote back to me saying pretty much the same :) as well as gave me a charm he carved out of an avacado pit (i ALWAYS wear it)
*We talk in silence, energy, emotion, and body language through skype ALL the time.
*We started collecting gifts for each other.
*I started a scrapbook that has everything from July in Australia to today.
*I started wearing his picture around my neck in a locket and keep it close to my heart at all times.
*Every time he talks to me I gain new cheek muscles from smiling all the time.
*I freaked out tonight about losing him but he made me smile even through all the negativity.
*We decided to buy each other notebooks that we will write in every day while we are separated and when we are reunited we'll exchange books back to read all the stories we have to share.
I think that's all I have to say for Jeremy's little shout out so far. I'll be sure to update you later of course. As for now, I have to go back to studying for stats.... almost there!!! Once I'm done with my final I will be the happiest person alive! Then when I see Jeremy I will have the most incredibly feeling ever! I can't wait to see you love!!!! As for everyone else, I'll keep you updated soon. Until then... Laters!
My family is really excited to have me home for a week. I'm excited to see my family but not so much to be home. Not sure why but Hawaii just doesn't feel like home again. I've been flipping back and forth with that emotion. I used to hate it and then I loved it and now I hate it again... What's going on?? I'll have the best of both worlds though when they go to see Rendi GRADUATE in Cali. We'll be a family in Cali :) My two favorite things in the world: family and the mainland lol. But even more than seeing my family I'm EXTREMELY excited to see Jeremy.... FINALLY!!!!
I've been counting down the days with him since 40+ days ago. I have been looking forward to seeing him sooooo much. Here are some of our highlights...
*I wrote him a letter confessing my love for him making me feel incredibly vulnerable.
*He wrote back to me saying pretty much the same :) as well as gave me a charm he carved out of an avacado pit (i ALWAYS wear it)
*We talk in silence, energy, emotion, and body language through skype ALL the time.
*We started collecting gifts for each other.
*I started a scrapbook that has everything from July in Australia to today.
*I started wearing his picture around my neck in a locket and keep it close to my heart at all times.
*Every time he talks to me I gain new cheek muscles from smiling all the time.
*I freaked out tonight about losing him but he made me smile even through all the negativity.
*We decided to buy each other notebooks that we will write in every day while we are separated and when we are reunited we'll exchange books back to read all the stories we have to share.
I think that's all I have to say for Jeremy's little shout out so far. I'll be sure to update you later of course. As for now, I have to go back to studying for stats.... almost there!!! Once I'm done with my final I will be the happiest person alive! Then when I see Jeremy I will have the most incredibly feeling ever! I can't wait to see you love!!!! As for everyone else, I'll keep you updated soon. Until then... Laters!
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