Water starts to fall

All week I've been writing my Violence and Terror essay (worth 40% of my grade) and studying for my Blue Planet exam (also 40% of my grade). I finished my first draft of my essay last night and was really excited to send it via email to be edited. Then I turned all of my attention to studying today. I looked over my notes, read the chapters, and reviewed the lectures. Regardless of my preparation, I still feel like I have no idea what's going on in this class! This is the reason I am not pursuing a Science degree >:( I don't know what possessed me to take this class at all! I had a nice stress-out cry at dinner because that's when it hit me: I really am fu**ed for this exam. Everyone tried to make me feel better about it by saying things like "I guarantee that you're more prepared than anyone else because they haven't started studying yet." Them failing isn't going to make my grade any higher! Even if the whole class fails the profs don't scale it so there's no point in relying on anyone else to raise my grade. The only thing I can really do is put faith into the fact that I've been to 95% of lectures, I've taken notes that I can read and somewhat understand, and I've read the textbook (well most of the chapters). I just really need fab5 and bio cult because we went through senior year together and I survived but only because of them. They know how I react to stress and I just can't control my emotions when I'm this freaked. My whole day has been dedicated to Blue Planet and unfortunately this is how my next couple weeks will be. I still have my theory and prac exams for Marine Palaeontology to study for. Luckily they're spread out so that I focus on one at a time. But that also means that I just stress out about one at time. Hopefully after the first exam I'll calm down because I'll be a little more comfortable with the idea of taking exams again.

I can't wait until tomorrow night though. Adam is taking me out clubbing because I haven't been out in a couple weeks and I will need to blow some steam off after Blue Planet is done. Next week friday I have a party to go to and then the Thursday after my exams are COMPLETELY done I'll be able to go CRAZY!! I need to get all the partying out of my system because I will have a tough semester when I go back to Skidmore. I can't wait to finish but I know that the end of exams is the signal to go home. I'm not ready to leave Australia. I belong here. I've always said that I couldn't stay in one place too long but I haven't been here long enough. I can't wait to come back for post grad. To all aussies/ANU international students (coughcough JD) reading this, you're my favorite people and have helped me to see through different eyes and I absolutely love that I can call you my friends. I won't ever forget what you taught me about life and about myself. I'll see you again (I'll make sure of it).

As for my Skidmore and Hawaii friends if you get the chance to visit Australia... DO IT!! This was the single most rewarding and worthwhile trip I've ever made in my life. I can't wait to tell you all my experiences when I return. I love Hawaii as much as I love Skidmore but ANU just stole my heart.

For the next few weeks I'll probably be crying. Don't take it personally. Stress, sadness, happiness, everything... it's all emotional for me. Keep a look out for updates on my last few drunken nights out :) laters!